Parents Forum

evilbrent · 10-11-2007, 01:16 AM

My superhero wife is just about finished her degree - one presentation left to go.

She started at the same time as me, but had to take time off when we had our first, then she went back part time. Amazingly, she managed to keep up her studies even when we had another kid and then moved an hour further away from her uni.

All in all this has added about 4 years to the length of her degree - can you tell that we're not good at family planning? - but I'm glad that we went to the trouble and expense. For the last year, as much as we didn't want to, we've been sending them to a home-based child-minder for one or 2 days a week. When we do that, I've tried to leave for work early so I can pick them up early.

My sister, quite innocently, asked her a few days ago what she was going to do with herself after finishing uni... would she take up night classes in singing, or join a club or something... with all of her sudden 'free time'. I think that my sister's comment, again, very innocently, highlighted that people don't see being a full-time parent as being a big enough role. People don't see that a person can be completely occupied, even interested, by the simple task of keeping a few rugrats alive, cleaned and fed all day every day. I don't think they're being mean, or even disrespectful, it's just that the role has lost some of its officialness.

Next year, now that she's finished her teaching degree, she's probably going to try to pick up one day as an emergency teacher at the local primary school (largest in our state - they're ALWAYS after licensed seat warmers) and we're going to enlist the grandparents to take a day baby sitting in a roster - one week per person, not per couple. Ie, one week it's my mum's job, the next week it's my dad's, then Beth's mum, then Beth's dad. That's only 1 day a month. That's not too much to ask is it?

Aside from the cost issue, which would almost invalidate the whole point of working in the first place, we're going to try to not send them to any version of chlid care. We're glad that they can be looked after by people who know and love them and who can focus on their needs.

Kaytee · 10-11-2007, 06:43 AM

I do agree that staying home is a full time job. I also think that stay at home parents should not stay home though. lol They need to get out and do things with their children. Obviouslydf it is easier to do with one child, but.. They need playgroups, or going to the park or just taking their child for a walk. I know one mother who was a stay at home mom for the first year of her duaghters life. She was a horrid stay at home mom. She never left the house. Just sat there all day long and watched tv. I always invited her out, but at the time I didn't have any kids so.. it made it more difficult.
She is now working, her daughter goes to her mothers for daycare. The child is much better off now. Now she gets to have fun as a child. lol

ljmahr · 10-16-2007, 01:41 PM

I am a SAHM and I love it. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But then again we have 4 daughters so I don't think I could afford to be anywhere else, lol. I do babysit kids at home, which gets interesting at times. At one time I did work outside the home because I had no other choice. Now I have this option and it works for us. I do however have a father in law that would rather pay us for me to stay at home with the girls than put them in a daycare. I say whatever works for your type of situation, you have to do what you got to do.

TAR · 10-16-2007, 03:45 PM

I also love being a SAHM.. I do teach a expecting parenting class on Saturday's (morning class is for Teen's and the afternoon class is for anyone expecting), I also teach a class one day a week it's called Baby Smarts it is based on the HCZ baby college program. I get to bring my children with me to these classes the baby smarts class everyone brings there children so it's just great, If I had to go to work I would but I teach these classes for free and love that i am able to. I just enjoy being able to stay home with my kids.

cj'smum · 10-19-2007, 06:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by evilbrent

I don't want to have a discussion about which is right or wrong (well... I DO, but I can already tell that it wouldn't go well).

But what about a poll? It seems that more and more parents are seeing the need to work - for whatever reason - and fewer and fewer parents are able to, or willing to, choose to leave one parent at home.

What's your circumstances?

I work, as I have to, so we can pay our house repayments. My daughter is 6 months old & I work 3 days a week, I can't stand people who say that if you have kids you should stay at home, its crap, just because my husband & i don't have alot of money dosen't mean that we should not forfil our dream of becoming parents. I am with my daughter 4 days out of the week & she loves playing with the other kids at day care, she is happy (and you can tell) so I am happy.

Kaytee · 10-19-2007, 06:47 AM

If you are happy working, then work. I see nothing wrong with doing it because you want to. The only thing I hate are the woman who think less of other woman for staying home. Staying home with your kids is a HARD job, it is very thankless and its 24 hours. Not that moms that work are not moms 24 hours, it is just a big differnce when you ARE with them 24 hours. It drives me mad that woman will say the SAHM have destroyed what so many woman have worked for. Equal rights.
I don't agree with that at all. Woman fought for my right to do WHAT I want to do, which is to stay at home with my baby and raise her the best that I can.

fallon · 10-19-2007, 06:52 AM

my least favorite comment is "what do you do all day?"

Kaytee · 10-19-2007, 07:02 AM

lol, haven't you seen the joke about the guy who comes home and the whole house is destroyed? The kids are flithy and running every wherere, the table is piled with dishes, the garbage is over flowing, There are crayons scribbled all over the walls, the guy finds his wife in bed reading, asks what has happened. She simply replies, "you know how you always ask me what I do all day?, well today I didn't do it.

fallon · 10-19-2007, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaytee

lol, haven't you seen the joke about the guy who comes home and the whole house is destroyed? The kids are flithy and running every wherere, the table is piled with dishes, the garbage is over flowing, There are crayons scribbled all over the walls, the guy finds his wife in bed reading, asks what has happened. She simply replies, "you know how you always ask me what I do all day?, well today I didn't do it.

Oh love that...I think I'll give it a shot

jenilouise · 10-20-2007, 02:06 AM

I was a SAHM when I was married but now that I am divorced I can't be. For the past few months I have been babysitting 4 kids overnight but that mom doesn't work anymore so neither do I. I will work nights though because I homeschool and I am unwilling to sacrafice that. I hope with 6 months I can be a WAHM though. My friend Jon and I are starting a business. It is just in the talking stages right now. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Parents Forum

Parenting Community

Pregnancy Forums

Parenting Resources