jtee

You lost me on that one.

But overall, I kind of got lost at the very beginning and it only got more confusing as I kept reading each message there after.

cbachinger

What I meant by the 'chastity belt' analogy is that, what is the point in locking your child in his/her room for bad behaviour without a key? With an unlocked door, they may surely leave without you approval and you talking to them about why they received that 'punishment'; i used to do that when i couldnt stand my room anymore. Unless there is a better idea.

Clear now?

The tips i made up and collected from the internet are in point form, so they should be easy to understand and so far all readers have understood. Which section confuses you? - perhaps i can make them clearer.

Kaytee

well the way I see it is a child after a certain age should not be in time out in the first place. Time outs are for younger kids. Groundings (similar to timeouts but are held differnetly).
For example a 3 year old who throws their dinner roll gets a time out for 3 minutes. They recommend 1 min. per year of age. Now you wouldn't give a time out to a 12 year old for throwing his roll. Sit him in a corner for 12 minutes. No, that would be almost as sill as him throwing the roll at 12. an older child would need to be punished in a different way, such as well since you did that now you have to sweep and mop the kitchen floor becuase you made the floor messy, or now you can't go to Jim's house like you planned. You are not going to stick a 12 year old in the corner for 12 minutes.
As children get older they learn in a different way they understand in a differnt way. Plus you would be starting these things from birth, so your child will know what to do and what not to do and what he can get away with.
I put my one year old in time outs, usually 2 times a day or so, soemtimes more sometimes less. If she kicks me when I cam changing her diaper, I tell her, do not kick mommy, if you do it again you will have a time out. If she doe sit again I put her on the time corner (she sits on a thingy) then I leave her to be. Sometimes she cries and says "Sowwy" sorry) other times she throws a tantrum in the corner taht gets ignored, and sometimes she just sits there. I usually only have her sit there for less tehn a minute as she is only 20 months old. Then I let her come down, I say we don't kick people ( or whatever the problem was) then I tell her to say sorry, say I love you and the problem is gone.
I doubt this will work when she is 12. lol

Swearing, will be taught from a young age, just like in my house, its not done by children. Adults are also discouraged from it in my house.

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fallon

well said kaytee

cbachinger

I think i understand what you mean. As the child grows up, you would change the punishment according to its age.

Is it just a case of 'reading' the situation and knowing what punishment would be more appropriate? As you also said, when a child is taught at an early age not to do certain things; what when they persist? Keeping to a correcting procedure that 'works to their advantage' is preferable at most times i assume?
...

fallon

I think you got it. over time you learn what works and what doesn't for your children and you adjust to fit their age. What works for me and my kids may not work for your family and that's OK

Kaytee

Kids need to have a constant. You can't really change things around a lot, in a sense. They have to know the rules and know what happens when they disobey the rules.
Absolutely you have to know what is appropriate for the misbehavior.

__________________

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
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cbachinger

I thank you for your useful and convincing answers kaytee

So in a nutshell, keep to certain 'right' actions for different reasons (keeping the constant) and know your kids and their mistakes and react accordingly.

evilbrent

[quote=cbachinger;6973]

1. He's a good disciplinarian.[quote]

Uh. No.

That's a bad tip. Change it to "He's good at guiding his children to act appropriately."


Good tip.

I think that a good mantra for life would be "Make more mistakes". I can't think of a single situation where a mistake isn't the right thing to do.


This is bad advice - particularly in a world where 'discipline'='punishment'. In a world where 'discipline'='learning' then you should spend a good quality period guiding your child.

Wash your mouth out!

Never PUNISH your child! That's just cruel!

Nobody 'deserves' to be punished.

Change this to "Every time a parent says anything, they should be prepared to justify themselves or be prepared to ask permission to be unreasonable. They should teach their children that it's ok to question everything. Obedience is an undesirable trait."


Swap the word "manners" for "respect and courteousness". Any monkey can have manners, but without the latter they are completely without worthless.

Oh. Yeah. Now THAT'S the way to breed trust and openness!

Change this one to: listen, we want you to obey the law. Certainly your mum and me are going to do so. We want you to trust us - if something happens we want you to come and talk to us, and we'll help you.

The children to be told the truth at all times. They should be taught that free thought is vastly more important than popular thought. Religion should be left completely out of the picture.

Kaytee

For people who have a religion Brent, tehy should raise their child in it. Whether you feel this is right or wrong is not your choice.

__________________

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com