cbachinger

Black is from the net and red is my own.

Being a good father:

Be more caring and easy to get close to:

1. The father needs to keep company of his children and know every side of them in order to form a close relationship.
2. The father can also show the tender side towards his children.
3. Participate more in the parent-child activities held by the children's schools so as to create more topics of talks of interest.
4. Show more comfort and concern to your children.

Show more admiration and acceptance:

1. Pay more attention to and show admiration for your children.
2. Respect the desires of your children and understand their difficulties.
3. Listen more to the views of your children.
4. Praise and confirm more of the achievements of your children and relieve unnecessary stress.

1. He's a good disciplinarian.
2. He allows his kids to make some mistakes.
3. He's open-minded.
4. He teaches his children to appreciate things.
5. He accepts that his kids aren't exactly like him.
6. He spends quality time with his children.
7. He leads by example.
8. He's supportive & loyal.
9. He challenges his kids.
10. He teaches his children lessons.
11. He protects his family at all costs.
12. He shows unconditional love.

2. Future lives together:

Confess all activities/interests engaged in life, ie. no secrets between us-before any such engagement proposal.
Holidays: Her family-my family-her family-my family,… (Private family holidays too J)
Children’s languages: English 1st language (Universal), " " 2nd/3rd , etc languages.
Retirement fund in retirement destination and other possible investments from start of settling down.
Do what is best for the individual family member.
If any house pet, train as early as recommended and treat as would a human.
Have family bonding evenings and weekends.
Keep house in good order and keep only what we need (Sentimental items are an exception).
Spoil wife and/or kids once in a while. Ie. Take wife to romantic dinners periodically (leave nanny at home until kids are mature enough), take kids to fun places.

Discipline children as early, quickly and as efficiently as possible:

Swearing-pepper on the tongue, being messy anywhere in the house-unpack and repack a cupboard, shouting/screaming at each other or slamming doors in anger-lock in separate rooms for a decided time, 1 child is seen/known for being unfair to the other-lock in room for a decided time, (After punishment, the child is asked and then explained why he/she deserved to be punished).

What the parents say is expected to be obeyed – for children’s discipline development.


Teach manners as soon as possible: with guests, family members, parents of friends table manners.

Teach protection tips:

Don’t ever talk, walk or take rides with strangers, even if they offer you a ride home, a treat or tell you that they know your mom or dad. Either we will pick you up OR should we ask a family member or family friend that you know too to pick you up, we will tell you before we leave you, where and when. If there is public transport, at an agreed age for travelling alone.

**Once you are of a certain legal age for participating in certain activities, as long as they are not illegal, you are responsible for your own actions.** Teaches adult responsibilities.
You ARE forbidden to engage in any illegal activities; no tolerance under this family roof for illegal activities. Such events will be dealt with harshly.

Changes in mood/understanding due to teenage ‘growing up years’ will be dealt with in a mature and compromising way.

Encourage responsibility on children as soon as they are old enough, ie. voluntary jobs for pocket money. Ie. challenges.

The children to have a base religion introduced to them when old enough.

Encourage children to attend groups for mental, life and social development: martial art classes, musical instruments, cubs/brownies and boy scouts/girl scouts, ballroom dancing, reading a balance of fiction and non-fiction to develop GK and imagination.

fallon

I would say they are very helpful tips. Thank you. I'm not sure it's a debate topic but I think we'll let the others decide before moving the thread

cbachinger

Thank you for your advice

Good point; its not really a debate but it seemed the better choice to place this topic.

Kaytee

I think it is a good start. I don't agree with ALL of them but this is your house and you have to be happy with your own decisions.

__________________

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
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fallon

so true

cbachinger

Please give me advice on the points that you dont agree on. You could just have a good reason why not and i (and others who read it) can benefit

Thats partly why i posted this information.

Thank you for your post!

Kaytee

Swearing-pepper on the tongue, being messy anywhere in the house-unpack and repack a cupboard, shouting/screaming at each other or slamming doors in anger-lock in separate rooms for a decided time, 1 child is seen/known for being unfair to the other-lock in room for a decided time, (After punishment, the child is asked and then explained why he/she deserved to be punished).

Mostly some of these. I would never put pepper on my childs tongue unless it was a LAST resort, but in my opinion it should never get that far to have to use as a last resort.
I also do not personally agree with "locking" a child any where. Of course time-outs are appropriate but "locking" eeks that just sounds harsh to me. Its kinda of like these parents I know (friends even) that will lock their 3 year old in her room at night so she can't come out. It just seems cruel to me. My dd is 1 1/2 and she is in a toddler bed and is not locked in her room. If she wants out she comes out. Granted I put up a baby gate so if she ventures off downstairs in the middle of the night she can't get out of the stair well and can only come in the hallway leading to our room.

__________________

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com

fallon

wow, I totally missed the pepper tounge thing, I was on my first cup of coffee...oops. Yeah I agree with Kaytee, some of that does sound a bit harsh

cbachinger

The pepper situation does sound a bit harsh but it worked on my sister and I like magic; I always ignored my mom telling me not to swear when i was about 10 or 12. So i think she did do it as a last resort. After two incidences, i never swore for months after that - i was of course scared of the pepper after the first time. But as I said, i believe that she did only use it as a last resort. She is a very sensitive woman.

What course of action would you take?

I can tell you of a harsher way I heard when a child lies. But that way sounds almost like abuse.

I think you may have the wrong impression here. I mentioned locking a child up for bad behaviour, not just for timeouts or when they go to bed.

What would you do with bad behaviour or slamming doors and fighting?

How would you correct your child from being messy? I was 'born' being very neat and orderly but my sister always had a upside down room! :d My parents always asked but she never did. My dad would just say afterwards that her friends see her as how her room looks like.

Many thanks for your comments

The more, the better.

cbachinger

Sorry, you are mentioning timeouts as when the child DOES get fiesty? Well for perhaps most children, an unlocked door wont keep them inside for too long - surely?

Its like the function of a chastity belt but without locking it.