Parents Forum

Claire64 · 03-29-2008, 10:06 AM

I would be completely ok with one of my kids being gay. My nephew lived with us for two years (while he was going to school here) and he's gay and I really didn't see it as an issue. Where we live, homosexuality is fairly well accepted and it wouldn't change my feelings towards my child.

etceterae · 03-29-2008, 02:01 PM

I'd suggest dropping whatever you're doing at the moment, looking at them straight in the face (without a pitying or angry expression), and possibly giving them a hug. Then ask if they've been okay at school (as in, have they been teased/made fun of?) and state that you support them. Make it quick at first, but if your kid shows signs of wanting to talk more, be there for them.

musicmom · 03-29-2008, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaytee

well to be honest I would be sad. I would love my child the same, treat her no different, and make sure she knows I am supportive of her decision. BUt I also have to admit that I would be sad that she would not be having a wedding and having children.

Why can't he/she get married or have children? You can do both being gay.

Kaytee · 03-29-2008, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musicmom

Why can't he/she get married or have children? You can do both being gay.

you are right that some of those things can be obtained, but not the traditional way. Absolutly nothing wrong with it, no guilt EVER would be put on my child. I grew up with a lesbian mother. I know how hard life is for someone that has opposing views as the majority. If my daughter was gay, she would not have a traditional wedding in a white gown (but who knows if she would even as a straight adult) she would not get pregnant the same way. Sure she could have children. She could adopt ( I would love them just the same) she could have in vetro, but she woul dnot meet a man, fall in love and have a child.

ljmahr · 03-30-2008, 09:18 PM

I think I would be sad and upset at first but it wouldn't change my love and support for them. A parent's love is unconditional and there is nothing that can change it.

jtee · 03-31-2008, 12:44 AM

I think most parents of gay children are not "surprised" by the news and have long suspected it. I tend to think their reaction to when a son\daughter "Comes out" is an expression of the parents' held back feelings on the issue. If they are OK with in general, it's no big deal. If they were secreting hoping their suspicions were wrong, then their is going to be some level of disappointment expressed at least initially.

What I personally think is unfortunate is that gays feel they need to hide their sexuality in the first place. I am related to individuals who remain in the closest for professional reasons. If they were to come out "officially", their careers would either come to end or stall.

Nobody should feel they have to hide who they are when who they are does not harm others (I do acknowledge that some people believe gays harm themselves and\or others by being gay.)

Aunt · 03-31-2008, 06:19 PM

Jtee you are right. My brother is gay and my somewhat macho father was always trying to push him into sports etc as a boy. He later admitted that on a subconscious level he suspected but felt like he should do all he could to encourage him to pursue a straight sort of lifestyle. If he had his time over he would possibly be more accepting.
I figure that as you cant change a persons sexuality, it is easier to just love them and hope they will be happy. the best way to do this is acceptance. It sounds twee but there you go!