musicmom

If you are breastfeeding he can not take the baby from you until you are done bf'ing. At least in my state.
If you have any proof of violence you'll need it. You'll have a hard time getting supervised visitations if there are no court documents.

Sirk

Really? It was way easy for me.
But my ex was a smartass even to the judge.

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HappyMomma

I think it will help that he has already lost custody of a previous child, as well.

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musicmom

Cthru

I agree with musicmom. Leave and get in safely before you tell him. I fear he could go beyond verbal if you told him face to face. Not only are you leaving but you are taking his daughter and his financial well being with you. It's likely going to set him off in a way that you don't want to be around for. Once you are in and safe and make contact you can let him know your reasons for leaving.

Keep in mind, you will have to go through the courts to do this correctly. Once the baby is here you will have to put him down as the father - also file for child support (that likely you won't get - but still file for it!). Also have to address the fact that you want full custody and provide reasons you want to deny him visitation. Based on what you've said I'm sure this wont be a problem - BUT- if you don't do this correctly you leave yourself open to lots of trouble in the future.

Good luck. It's very brave what you are doing. I think you are doing the right thing for both yourself and your child.

heidi

This is what I prefer to do, but will be nearly impossible considering I'm going to be shipping my computer, clothing, and other items out by mail before I fly, as well as taking his (my) phone with me.

I was pretty sure that child support and visitation are separate legally, but I need to learn a lot more. I'm willing to read a novel on these subjects.. anyone have any websites or sources in mind?

The baby will be (psychologically) safer in a more financially and emotionally stable environment, surrounded with lots of love and family... without the constant yelling and anger!

The door for communication/possibility of visitation is open because - yes - he is the father, not physically abusive, as well as the fact that he may still decide to act responsibly. How he chooses to conduct himself from here out will be the determinant in whether or not he will be a part of baby's life.

I do need to get help and guidance on how to deal with him, make legal choices, and know what are my rights and not my rights.. etc. This is all brand new.

HappyMomma

If you cannot afford to hire an attorney, check into legal aide in the area you are moving to.

__________________
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

musicmom

heidi

You are all giving very helpful feedback.

heidi

I googled ACT shelter, and that is an Australian organization?

I do want to talk to a professional, though I don't know who that would be (in Connecticut, soon to be Illinois).