1dayatatime

The bottles are done in place of time out, spanking, etc. So things that have been done that get the bottles are....hurting the dog, kicking her brother in his walker, lieing, asking the same question of both parents when one has already said no. These are not new problems. I wish I had a better solution. She is very willful. If we take away her paints because shes putting the paintbrush in her mouth she just says I didn't want to play with that anyway. I welcome all suggestions.

fallon

those are serious offences that need to be handled right away. Have you ever tried anything like a sticker chart with her? My dd responds very well to this but not all kids do.

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Kaytee

How old is she again?

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1dayatatime

She's four and very intelligent. My husband and I just talked about the sticker thing. We have never done that. She's a huge sticker fan. How do you work a sticker chart? What do you do if the child asks for a sticker because of something they think they did to deserve a sticker? How many stickers are given a day? Like a said we've never done that.

fallon

with my dd I make a great big colorful chart...most recently it was whining so I'll just tell you how we worked that...So I made a chart and put it up on the door. I clearly explained the "terms" to her and wrote them out on the chart. each time the "rules" were broken I put a large red check on the chart next to the day...3 checks= 4 min timeout, 4 checks= 7 min timeout (yes I know the 1 min per year rule), 5= lost outside play, 6= lost TV time, 7= early bedtime and every wk the # of checks for that lead up to a punishment went down. If she made it though the day w/o punishment she received a sticker at the end of the day, if she got x amount of stickers there was a reward. I know it may sound really complicated but once we figured out what worked for us it really helped. My dd is the kind of child that needs to see things spelled out right in front of her and benefits greatly from charts. I use them for a lot of things with her and seriously within a wk of the last chart she was getting her stickers every night and shortly after that the issue was gone. basically I change the terms and rules of the chart to fit whatever our needs are at the time. We also have a responsibility chart that lists her "chores" for the day and each task that is completed is rewarded with a sticker. She feels a great sense of accomplishment by seeing what she has done and having others see it. If you want to bounce ideas back and forth about it feel free to PM me and I'll do whatever I can to help you find a way that might help your family

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FooserX

I tired the whole sticker/reward thing, but it was just work. I didn't like keeping track of behavior.

I am just very consistent when it comes to parenting. I don't give 2 or 3 warnings, I ask one time, and the next time I ask it gets done or my kid gets punished. I know my son well enough to know what will make him regret misbehaving. It's pretty simple.

You're the parent - you should know what privliges and fun things you child cherishes. Take away something that matters.

Kaytee

sticker charts are proven to work in MANY kids, might not be all but many. Also it is a good way for you as the parent to make sure you are rewarding good behavior.

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FooserX

I didn't say it wouldn't work...I just said it was a chore for me to keep track of things with stickers. Personally, I didn't like having to physically walk to the door and peel off a sticker everytime, every day that my kid did something. Other methods are much more convienient for me. I'm a lazy parent, I guess :-)

*slouches on the couch and watches People's Court*

Go get me a soda! lol

Kaytee

I wasn't referring to your post Fooser, but we all know how lazy you are. Don't you worry about it.
*throws soda at Fooser and runs away

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jtee

I see it very close to child abuse. Like walking right up to the line as close as you can get, but not stepping over.

In this forum, I advise parents not to consider using techniques that are indented to create any kind of stress\harm on the physical body or creating intense fear\terror.

Parents can get extremely creative with these kind of methods. How about not allowing to child to drink water for a few hours? How about locking a child in a 100% dark room\closet? How about tying their hands behind their back? How about taping their mouth shut? How about simply threating them that you will give them up for adoption? There are all kind of methods that are outside the legal definition of child abuse, but most parents would never consider using many of these types of very effective methods of behavior control.