Parents Forum

Kaytee · 10-11-2007, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtee

I see it very close to child abuse. Like walking right up to the line as close as you can get, but not stepping over.

In this forum, I advise parents not to consider using techniques that are indented to create any kind of stressharm on the physical body or creating intense fearterror.

Parents can get extremely creative with these kind of methods. How about not allowing to child to drink water for a few hours? How about locking a child in a 100% dark roomcloset? How about tying their hands behind their back? How about taping their mouth shut? How about simply threating them that you will give them up for adoption? There are all kind of methods that are outside the legal definition of child abuse, but most parents would never consider using many of these types of very effective methods of behavior control.

Very well said Jtee

FooserX · 10-11-2007, 04:30 PM

>>>*throws soda at Fooser and runs away*

OW!!!

Kaytee · 10-11-2007, 06:00 PM

She shoots she scores!!!

SageMother · 10-11-2007, 06:07 PM

I think it asks a 4 year old to make associations on a fairly advanced level. Since this is working, I can see where you might have had problems with other forms of discipline.

evilbrent · 10-12-2007, 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1dayatatime

That is the AZ law in regards to physical child abuse. Do you think asking a 4year old to hold a small water bottle in each hand either infront of her like candlesticks or above her head(her choice) for 2 to 4 minutes as a punishment child abuse? When a soldier acts up he does push ups, a student in a martial arts class would do push ups or sit ups, I consider this the same. Time out was not working, spanking was not working, taking away privaledges was not working, this is working. Like with all the other forms of punishment we explain why we are doing first, and what she could have done differently. What are your thoughts?

My opinion?

Yes, that's abuse. I wouldn't go calling the cops if I saw a friend doing it, but I'd certainly step in. I wouldn't allow my wife to subject my son or daughter to treatment like that.

This is punishment designed to inflict humiliation through extended discomfort.

Any form of punishment is ineffective to start with - when it begins to take a physical form I see that it's inappropriate - when the physical form of the punishment is SUPPOSED to hurt then it's completely unacceptable.

It's just not on.

If a boss made a worker do it the boss would be fired. If a teacher made a pupil do it they'd be fired. If a parent makes a kid do it the parent should be fired.

There's a reason that soldiers have to go through those soul-destroying physical humiliations. It's so that, in battle, they will be able to mindlessly and immediately put themselves into the line of fire. A dehumanised soldier is a good soldier.

What's good for making a soldier isn't what's good for making a son or daughter.

FooserX · 10-12-2007, 07:11 AM

>>>She shoots she scores!!!

You won the battle....but not the war!

1dayatatime · 10-12-2007, 08:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FooserX

You're the parent - you should know what privliges and fun things you child cherishes. Take away something that matters.

I wish I did. I've tried taking thing away that I think she really likes. She just finds something else. If I take something away she just either says or has an attitide of I didn't want it anyway. I appreciate everyones comments and suggestions. I'm going to give the whole sticker chart thing a whirl. I anticipate it not working at all but I'm willing to try. I want to find a non violent way to help correct her behavior. I don't want to lay a hand on her unless it's to give her a hug.

Kaytee · 10-12-2007, 08:46 AM

Gotta get a better attitude there! If you don't think it will work you will not put the effort into it, and just blow it off and tehn say it doesn't work. You have to go in like you KNOW it will work. Good luck!

1dayatatime · 10-12-2007, 09:07 AM

Kaytee. I am cometted to this project. I know her and I anticipate it just being about getting stickers and nothing about being good to get them. Did I mention she's very strongwilled? We will have her 3 days this next week and I am cometted to the chart all three days regardless of how it seems to go the first day.

fallon · 10-12-2007, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1dayatatime

Kaytee. I am cometted to this project. I know her and I anticipate it just being about getting stickers and nothing about being good to get them. Did I mention she's very strongwilled? We will have her 3 days this next week and I am cometted to the chart all three days regardless of how it seems to go the first day.

I worried about that too but it seems in our case we made it more about a sense of achievment..."the stickers are great and if you follow the rules you can put a sticker on your chart...if you get all three stickers you can have ______, or you can do ______" one moring I made her a sundae for breakfast with frozen yogurt and cherrios w/ spinkles as a reward

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