musicmom

It's nice we have men on this board so their opinions are much needed. Why is it that men think stay at home mothers sit around and do nothing?
Especially if a man is working and not in the home the woman then has to take care of the house and the yard and repairs. How do they think this gets done?
Do you think that if your wife up and left that you could honestly take care of the kids and the house and hold down a full time job yourself?
What goes through a man's head when thinking of a stay at home mother?

Amber

I wish men who think this would be a stay at home parent for one month. I say one month, because sure, the first week will be easy. But let the kids get used to you being there. That's when all the fun begins. When you're in the middle of dishes, and you have to break up a fight. Or when you're vacuuming and your little one is dying for you to read to her. It's not all big smiles being a stay at home mom. It's a 24/7, 365 days a year job, with no vacation and no pay. But it's so worth it at the end of the day.

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Kaytee

well, from what I have seen mor WOMAN think SAHM moms are lazy and do nothing compared to men. Its called the mommy wars. Goes something like this

SAHM:I stay home to raise my child
WM: are you saying I don't raise my child?
SAHM: well you are not home with them for 8 plus hours and they sleep the rest of the time
WM: well I work so my child knows they can do anything and not be forced to stay in the house

and it just keeps going. Woman are the worst thing for woman

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musicmom

I haven't heard of mommy wars but I could see woman doing that. I have a few stay at home mom friends and I swear they all say the same thing. My dh acts like that as well. My dh will come on a weekend and in fifteen minutes he'll say "I don't know how you do it" but then when he leaves all of a sudden he acts like being a stay at home mom is a walk in the park and HE'S the one working!
I couldn't imagine getting up, going to work, coming home and going to bed and that was the end of my responsibilities. I swear I parent in my sleep!

Kaytee

oh mommys wars are even bigger then the breastfeeding vs formula feeding one!!! Woman are just plain mean. We have screwed ourselves. We fought sooo hard to be able to do what we what to do in regards to life choices, but now choosing to stay home is "lazy" "not giving back to the comunity" blah blah blah.
I do think working mothers work very hard! I can't imagine going to work for 8 plus hours a day to come home and put my child to bed because we have to do it all over again

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musicmom

hwnorth

I will try and hold back from resenting this thread, as Im sure these comments arent directed at ALL men, just some that have a narrow minded way of thinking ... OR ... they have experienced stay at home moms who did nothing.

Case in point ...
When I was married and after my daughter was born, my wife did nothing. She sat at home and played online. I would come home after working 14 hrs and she and our child were still in pajamas, no dinner even thought about, house a mess, no laundry done.. etc etc.

This is where some men would gather their opinion from.

On the flip side ... when I became a single Dad ... I held down a full time job.. as a mobile crane operator, I raised a 4 year old, involved in her daycare... had her involved in dance .. we went swimming and lots of activities together ... and have a wonderful close bond.

Is it easy? HELL NO !! ... being a single parent for either isnt easy ... but I wouldn't change it for the world

Trina

Not all men do. My DH is very supportive of my role as a SAHM in our family. I must say though, that he didn't always feel this way. Supportive of my staying home, yes, but not aware of what that entails. LOL! When our kids were about 2 & 4 I went away to visit a friend during a long (4 day) weekend. DH was perfectly fine with it, and in fact, told me he was looking forward to a relaxing weekend with the kids. LMBO! I called home the first day and he was mildly frazzled. He seemed more stressed each time I called, but insisted all was well. When I came home he was VERY glad to see me! Then he went on and on about how he didn't realize how tough it was to watch the kids and tend to the house 24/7. I figured he would never want me to go away again, but he actually started encouraging me to take similar trips on a regular basis. "You need breaks!" Gosh, I love him!

Anyway, not all guys feel that way, and judging by my experience, the ones who do don't "get it" are clueless as to what's involved. I also think it may have to do with how they were brought up. You know, the whole "women's work" attitude.

Kaytee

lol very good way to put it Trina. My husband is the same way. He also feels it is by far the best thing for all of us for me to stay home and raise Nichole, BUT he has no clue what I do!!!
lol He had to watch her last Wednesday when I went to church, she was still sick. He called me like every 20 minutes. "Nichole has diarrhea" well give her some gas drops and clean her up. "oh she has gone in the potty every time" ok why are you calling me then "well she hurts" give her gas drops "I did, its not working" well she is 2 thats all you can really do. Then I tell him she better be in bed by the time I get home (9:30 at night, she goes to bed 7:30-8) "oh she will be, I get home and lo and behold she is running to the door!!!!!! UHG!!!

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Kaytee

Absolutly many guys think SAHP is tough

__________________

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com