Stephanie W

Dadu2004

I absolutely would never allow a child that young to be walking around carrying an infant. I would allow him to hold the baby while sitting under supervision and that's it.

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fallon

this, I don't even trust a lot of adults to walk around with my newborns

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Xero

A ten year old would be looking at my newborn. Maybe touching. Not holding. After a little bit, I might let the kid SIT down and hold the baby for a couple minutes WHILE I WAS LOOKING AT HIM. And only then!! What is a ten year old doing running around the house with a helpless little baby???? How did you not notice that? Do you set the baby down and then walk away or something? I'm confused as to how this happens. I can't understand why a baby just barely born not even two months ago is being left unsupervised. That kid needs to understand that he can't play around with that baby until he's older. It really shouldn't even be questionable. That's not exactly what I would call safe, especially when you know all those awful things could happen if he drops him.

And your baby should be holding up his head long before six months.

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zeitgeist

I'd say that the 10 year old has already demonstrated that he can't be trusted holding the baby. Cut him off. This isn't a digital camera or crystal glass we're talking about.

Explain thoroughly why he's no longer allowed to hold the baby. Explain to dad that this is NOT NEGOTIABLE until you've got some sort of assurance that you can count on (I have no idea what that might be) on that the older child can act responsibly as he's been shown.

Sirk

it's no surprise that a 10 year old boy had little interest in babies.

I don't think you're wrong for not wanting him to walk around holding the baby.

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Stephanie W

I am not new at this. I am 42, have a healthy and normal 16 year old, and raised my youngest sister when our mother's alcoholism was at its worst.

WHAT makes you think I did NOT notice my stepson wandering around with the baby? I have told him REPEATEDLY to NOT pick the baby up himself and NOT walk around with the baby.

My infant was NOT left unsupervised. He was sleeping in his bassinet on the main floor or on a play blanket while I prepared lunches, or dinner, or flipped over a load of laundry LESS than 15 feet away.

My problem is not only that the 10 year old is 1) picking the baby up without asking, 2) walking around with the baby, 3) NOT listening to his stepmother (me) when I TELL him to NOT pick the baby up and NOT walk around with the baby but most importantly 4) his FATHER thinks it is ok and will not support me in my requests that the 10 year old stop picking MY baby up and walking around the house with him.

I don't know why I am defending myself to you or where you got the idea my baby was in any way unsupervised.

Sirk

I'm sorry you married and had a kid with someone who doesn't support you? I don't know how we can change the guy you chose for you.

Try a sling? And not resenting your husbands other child or that the child has an interest in his sibling? And getting some sleep?

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fallon

wow...it was an pretty obvious question actually given the fact that you complaint was the 10 yo was walking around with the infant. I would also question how that could happen without being notice, no need to jump down her throat...maybe the child isn't listening to you and your husband isn't supporting you because of the way you handle the situation. If you treat him like you just treated Xero it's no wonder he doesn't respect what you say...just my two cents though, good luck to you

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Xero

React how you want, the fact is that you weren't WATCHING when the baby got PICKED UP, or the baby wouldn't have gotten picked up in the first place, would it.

If you know the kid doesn't listen to you, then you know once you're not looking, he's going to pick the baby up. If you're not watching, someone else should be. You've got a husband and a sixteen year old. The ten year old doesn't have to be the only one in the room.

And if your husband cares anything about his NEW child not getting dropped on his HEAD then he'll lay down the rules with his other kid not to run around with him like he's a cabbage patch baby.

So until your husband lays down the rules because this is pretty frickin important, I'm sure especially to you, then I wouldn't be taking my eyes off that baby if I were you.

I'm not calling you a bad mom, I'm not saying you don't know what you're doing. And I know ten year old boys can be brats. But since you know the situation, I don't see how it's safe to walk away and do the laundry with the baby left alone to be picked up by the ten year old. That's what I'm trying to say.

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