cgormer

Hello everyone. I'm a 31 year old single father, and I have a 2-year old daughter (26 months, actually) who will not eat with utensils. Admittedly, it's pretty much our fault. We waited a bit too long to introduce her to using utensils on her own, and once we started, we would end up just feeding her like we usually did because she would take a long time to eat and we didn't want her food to get cold. I've been trying for about two weeks to get her to eat with a spoon, using yogurt and pudding. She seemed to get the hang of it at first, at least putting the spoon in her mouth. Scooping the yogurt was still a challenge. Recently, though, she's regressed, and now throws a fit whenever I put a bowl of something with a spoon in front of her. She eats finger foods by herself with no problem, although recently she's been taking a long time to finish, so we end up assisting her with that as well. I know that's probably not the smart thing to do, but I don't want to neglect her and have her go hungry.

She also doesn't really brush her teeth very well on her own. I've tried to show her the correct way to do it, but again she throws a fit. Typically what happens is I'll go over her teeth once, and then give her the brush and let her at it. She usually just chews on bristles, but she does move the brush around her mouth. Once I try to help her with the correct motion, she gets upset.

One quick note, she's way behind on her speech. She can say a few basic words, and can sing a few songs, but everything comes out mispronounced. Based on this, it's kind of difficult to communicate with her in regards to instructing her on eating with utensils, brushing teeth, etc. I am very concerned about autism, though her doctor and pretty much everyone else doesn't seem to think that's the case.

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Dadu2004

The only advice I can really give is to keep encouraging her as much as you can. You have to reinforce utensils and keep consistent. The more you make her use the utensils the easier it will be for her.

If your docs aren't concerned about autism but you are, follow your gut. Go somewhere and have her tested. It's amazing how a gut instinct can be right over a medical professional.

Welcome!

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Merrifox

It's really not abnormal for a 26 month old baby to have these problems In fact..it's highly normal, and to be expected. By the time she hits Kindergarten, she'll use utensils (usually) and brush her own teeth(if you keep reminding her) and enunciate words very clearly(mostly).

It sounds as though she's developed an aversion to using utensils, and you may wish to take her to a store and pick out a special set (or a few) just for her -- they make pretty ones, with plastic handles and cartoon characters on the plastic, which she may enjoy. Then, hand them to her or set them next to her bowl/plate when she eats -- but don't force her to use them. Eventually, she'll want to use them again, because children like to mimic their parents, it's how they learn to do anything when they're young. Of course, when she does pick one up, make sure to praise her, even if she scoops the food into the spoon or onto the fork then uses her fingers to take it from the utensil to place in her mouth...coordination is very bad at this age, and just scooping up food can be hard, let alone getting it to their little mouth

Brushing teeth is also a difficult thing to learn, and after all their attention span is so short..for mine, I usually did a basic job, and as they'd say "ME do!" I'd hand over the toothbrush and let them do. As they would pretend to brush, I'd point out areas they hadn't 'reached' (although granted none was done well by them at this point) and they would make an attempt to brush those areas too. (Although I made the mistake of saying "brush here too" to my oldest, using my mouth as example..and he attempted to brush MY teeth...LOL)Mainly, though, at this age it's about the taste of brushing teeth, and they're just not gonna do a good enough job to keep away cavities on their own. It's just part of the learning process.

About the talking..this is also normal. My middle one was 2 1/2 before he said ANYTHING...and yeah, I did all the doctor rounds to try to figure it out. My oldest had talked so young...anyway, after much research, and doctors, I found out that talking that late was within the normal range. And eventually he DID talk (and never shut up thereafter!) As for speaking clearly...it takes a lot of practice. Imagine you, trying to learn spanish or french, and perhaps trying to learn to roll those R's...it's hard. For toddlers, it's a lot the same...learning to say the different sounds correctly takes time and practice. My youngest had the most problems with this, and as late as 4 years of age had problems with L's...(My dog's name is Lilah, and he first said Yiyah, Wilah, then eventually it became Lilah)Being excited made it worse, too. But he speaks normally now, and is considered "gifted" and in the advanced studies courses at school. So it'll happen, just keep being patient and loving

Of course, if there are other signs you've not mentioned, don't hesitate to follow up on the Autism.

cgormer

Thanks for the replies and the advice. It's good to read that these issues are common. I often drive myself nuts reading about developmental milestones. Sometimes I think I expect too much from her too soon.

As far as the autism fears go, the speech delay is really the only major sign. That and she doesn't really play with other kids too much at daycare. She does from time to time, but usually prefers to be by herself. This doesn't concern me too much for several reasons (mainly both her mother and I are very introverted). There are other signs of it here and there, just little things that lots of kids do. She doesn't display any other major signs other than the speech and socializing, and I think both of those have an explanation of their own. The unfortunate thing about my gut feeling is that I am a very worrisome and pessimistic person.