stepmother22

i have posted on here many time so most of you might know my situation, but if you dont.. i have a 3 year old stepson who was pretty much raised by grandmaw, the last 2 years we have been taking him 7 days a week and mom has his 7 days ,, before mom was working crazy hours and grandmaw had him the most part, but the last 3-4 months, she has gotten a job workin 8-5 just like me, so when he is with us, i drop him off to grandmaw cuz she babysits and pick him up at 5 ...she does the same thing.. well when he was younger he had alot of anger problems,, i guess terrible 2's, he would throw his self on ground kicking and screaming, bite himself and others, slap himself and others, he did that the whole first year me and my husband were dating,, not just around me, but everyone, then at age 2 he stopped.. now at 3 , its amazing how much he has improved, he hugs us and says he loves us,, it was wonderful,,, WAS !! lately he has been pushing me away it seems,, but he only does it in front on grandmaw, when i drop him off or pick him up,, he is so mean to the other 2 grandkids she keeps.. then minute he walks in her house he acts like he rules it, and he does, he will go straight to them and take their toys and hit them, she tells him to be nice but he doesnt listen to her, she'll put him in time out and he'll get up,, at first i would try correcting him but he runs to her screaming and crying and she holds him and it makes me look like the bad guy,, not to mention im on my way to work so i cant stay there for a hour correcting him,, lately he has been telling me to Shut Up,, which i think is the ugliest thing,, i corrected him at home and now he only does it when i drop him off there,, this week, when i dropped him off, he was fighting with the other kids like normal, throwing a fit, so i just left so she could correct him, i asked for a hug and he said no, so i was upset and said, ok see you later and left, as im walking out the door, i hear him ask where moms at, and she said she left hurry and tell her bye, he opens the door and screams Mom, shut up mom shut up, and slams the door,, i wanted to cry but at the same time,i wanted to call into work and take his lil butt home and punish him, when we got home daddy sat him down and had a talk with him, well this morning, same thing, he was throwing a fit and i told him to stop being ugly and he tells me to shut up.. im soo frustrated with this,, and its not just me, he acts like this with his real mom,, just us 2,, no one else,, i think that he feels that grandmaw is his mom and since she keeps him he doesnt have to respect us..

fallon

sounds like you have your hands full there. I think the time with Grandma needs to be cut down for sure. I know that's easier said then done but at this point it sounds like that is what's in the best interest of this child

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Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

budnkota

It may be a deeper problem with women in general... but as I mentioned before, as the mother of a 3-ear-old, the split custody thing disturbs me. That poor little boy just has no consistency.

If you can afford it, I'd look into a custody evaluator - preferably one who is a child psychologist. Have them give an opinion as to whether or not this is healthy and conducive to his well-being...

good luck

stepmother22

i agree, i sometime feel that he thinks grandmaw is his mother and that me and real mother are interferring,, i thinks it's because he was raised by grandmaw for so long ( 1year) and by the time i came into his life and his real mother started putting an effort, it was kinda too late,, we were almost at terrible 2's stage,, but this behavior is ONLY with grandmaw,, he calls my parents maw and paw, and is very spoiled to them, like most children, and he cries when they leave, but he never hits me and is ugly to me around them,, only this one grandmaw, today i asked for a hug and kiss and he rolled his eyes, i was soo hurt,, he is a very lovable child, when not around grandmaw,, or even when he hasn't seen us in those 7 days, when we get him, he is sooo excited, but it doesnt last long,, my main concern is when my other child is born,, how will he handle grandmaw holding baby brother or feeding him ? if he hits other children when she gives them attention,, im afraid of what he would do to baby