stepmother22

my 3 year old started calling his grandmaw a bit, well thats how we hear it but we think he is tryin to say b*tch,, i have no idea where he got this from, as most of you know i have trouble with my stepson, i recently posted a thread on his violent behavior,, this morning when i dropped him off to her he said," Ma, you a bit" and i said what did you say and he said it again " ma you a bit" i told him that was ugly and a bad word and not to say it again,, my question is, how else can we handle this ?? my mother n law puts a lil hot sauce in his mouth, i told her that was fine, if it stops him from saying that then go right ahead... another thing he always raises his fist to people like he will punch you,, he doesnt do it but it still looks ugly,, how do i stop that ? should i whip his hand ? put his hand down and put him sitting down ?? i thought terrible two's were over at 2 years lol ... please someone help me !!!!

HappyMomma

IMO, that is not fine.

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The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

Good Wolf

Pain is not a good teacher. Pain teaches your children that they solve problems by using pain.

You already told her it is not a good word and reinforce it if she says it again. Do the same in regards to her hitting. You don't hit her hand and tell her not to hit. That doesn't make sense to me and I'm a grown man. I can see where it might confuse a toddler.

I would also speak to your husband about your teens language and start punishing him for it, not you three year old daugther that doesn't know any better.

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Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

meow_173

Putting hot sauce in his mouth is a form of abuse. You're trying to get him to stop saying a bad word and to stop being violent, yet you are using violent means to get through to him.
The point is, he is a 3 year old, and you are a grown adult. You need to be firm and discpline him until he understands that this, all of this behaviour is NOT acceptable. Spanking/hitting him to prove a point will not work either, especially if you are trying to prevent him from punching someone else. Talk to a professional.

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Dadu2004

Where is he hearing this language? This is obviously not a part of a normal 3 year old vocabularly. You need to track down the source first and put a stop to that.

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HappyMomma

Medical contraindications for using Hot Sauce as disciplinary action:
"Hot-saucing" a child's tongue can cause choking, and burn the mouth, esophagus and stomach.


"Hot-saucing" children’s tongue/mouth is legally abuse in Virginia.


Carleton Kendrick, a family therapist from Boston, MA, recommends against the use of ‘Hot saucing.’ He said that it can burn the child's esophagus and cause their tongue to swell. This can create a potential choking hazard. He said: "There are many different kinds of hot sauce on the market, and parents who say they know the dilution to use so it won't sting, or say they only use one drop, are wrong. It's done because it hurts. It stings. It burns. It makes you nauseous."


Hot Saucing as Discipline Increasing

__________________
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

Sirk

quit being so nosey, HM

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Good Wolf

She can't help it. She is all up in people's business like 24/7.

__________________
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

FooserX

At 3 years old, he's old enough to understand actions and consequences.

Just tell him we don't talk like that, and he'll be losing dessert and/or toys everytime he says that.

That way, it makes it his choice to behave like that. Trust me, after a few days of no dessert...or being bored without his favorite toys...he'll stop

musicmom

He's too young for hot sauce and I do not think it's abuse just not a good way to parent.
I did tap my children's hands when they touched something they were not supposed to but that's me. I'll spank too depending on what it is they did.
As for your dilema, I would put your hand on his mouth and say "that's not a nice word it makes mommy sad" and then show him a sad face. If he is getting a reaction from you then he is going to keep saying it.
I've got news for ya, three year olds are the worst! You need to let him know who the adult is and lay down your rules now. If your step son has that mouth then you need to find a way for your child to not be around that kid. They are sponges.
Good luck. You do not sound abusive at all to me and don't let anyone make you think so. Some people do not spank, tap or whatever...more power to them. I do.