button611

I am not really sure what to do, but I have been having problems with Bailey and her dad getting along from the beginning, but I still have problems! They cannot be left alone together-she starts screaming and crying and pushing him away. I really am at a loss as to what to do-as a result my husband now resents her somewhat because he just doesn't have the patience to deal with her fits. I understand his point completely-why hold her if she is just going to scream in his face and try and get back to Mommy as soon as possible, but I don't know what to do-she just turned 1 and I know it is probably a phase, but how can I make her understand he is not a bad guy and for him to understand not to take it personally?? As soon as she makes her way back to me-instant happiness and the tears stop! If I give her back to Daddy-instant tantrum-he has never done a thing to harm her so I don't understand her anger with him.

I am beginning to think that for my own sanity that I should start to see a shrink or something because otherwise I am not sure if I am a strong enough person to make this work. I LOVE my husband and I LOVE my daughter, but I am not sure if I could ever choose between the two, but we cannot go on living like we are with everyone mad at each other all the time. Someone please help me......

Music-dad

"I understand his point completely-why hold her if she is just going to scream in his face and try and get back to Mommy as soon as possible"

There's the problem...right there.

.:Kalli Rae:.

She needs you to show her that Dad is a good, fun, caring, loving guy. She doesn't know that right now. It may take some work but she will learn that if you work with her. IMO

__________________
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.
Kalli Rae--
Mommy to:
Aaron Joseph- 8yrs Lily Ann Marie- 7yrs Kyla Raye- 4yrs

button611

But what do I do then??? That is my question? If I leave her to figure it out he ends up mad at her and if I swoop in to save her then she got her way, there has got to be an easier way to get her to understand. I think the worst part of it all is the stress that it puts on our marriage. We were supposed to go away on a 3 day family vacation together, but I am afraid. I am thinking it may be best if I leave Bailey with a grandparent and just my husband and I go, so that we can have some "us time", but I was looking forawrd to taking our first family vacation.

Music-dad

I don't want to be rude, but I think "Dad", needs some professional help...seriously, how can anybody possibly get angry with a one year old for 1 minute of crying?, ,,,,,,,,totally beyond me.

C'mon...I'm not the only one thinkin' it.

button611

I agree that maybe dad could use some help-but her crying is not just a minute long-it can go on forever sometimes. I am just trying I guess, to figure out who is the bigger problem here-me, dad or baby. I am thinking that it may be me-since I have a tendency to eventually give her what she wants-I just want her to be happy, but maybe I am not the problem-I don't know.......... Anyway I am going to be looking into family therapy I think, if not for me only, it would be great if he would join but I think that is out of the question. I just don't want my husband wishing we had never even had a baby, whichi is the way he seems to be leaning lately-and I don't blame him for that.

.:Kalli Rae:.

Your right, Dad does need to deal with the impatience he has for the baby. Babies feed off of the emotions of the adults around them. There should be no reason he is getting so upset with her and resenting her....He needs to figure it out. It's not the baby's fault here....

__________________
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.
Kalli Rae--
Mommy to:
Aaron Joseph- 8yrs Lily Ann Marie- 7yrs Kyla Raye- 4yrs

.:Kalli Rae:.

Wow...Really? You don't blame him for wishing you two had never had a baby? That should have been something you guys thought of before you had a baby. He sounds selfish and immature and you are taking his side against YOUR DAUGHTER? She is a baby!

I am going to walk away from this thread now.

__________________
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.
Kalli Rae--
Mommy to:
Aaron Joseph- 8yrs Lily Ann Marie- 7yrs Kyla Raye- 4yrs

Music-dad

"I just don't want my husband wishing we had never even had a baby, whichi is the way he seems to be leaning lately-and I don't blame him for that."

That makes me sad, I love my dd more than life itself...I thought everybody did.

button611

Everybody wait a minute here: I am not here for criticism on my parenting skills or my husbands! I came here for help and support. As far as my comment on I don't blame him-I didn't say I agreed with it, but you cannot blame someone for how they feel-it is their feelings and their choice. I LOVE my daughter more than life itself and cannot wait each morning for her to wake up and smile, but I also do the same for my husband and it is a very hard position to be in when one does not seem to like the other. We HAD discussed having children and that is why we did, and no we don't really resent having a baby, just the emotional stress it adds to a marriage. When you have a baby you expect life to be perfect from then on, and then it doesn't always turn out like that-IT'S FRUSTRATING!!! I don't apprecitate you all assuming that I choose my husband over my daughter than that's what you get for assuming, I should not have to choose a side!! I was looking for advice on what I can do to make the two of them get along together, and help her understand that dad is a GREAT guy!! Thanks for all assuming I am a bad parent here and I will now walk away from this forum, and thanks for all your time.