Lissa

He hits me, slaps me, bites me. Runs into the street. Throws food on the floor and laughs at me pick it up. He screams when I'm not paying attention to him or when I don't give him something fast enough. He throws toys when he's mad. I've tried giving him a modified time out (restraining him gently for 1 minute) and this is not working. This kid is literally driving me insane. I cannot keep up with him. He's everywhere, climbing up the walls literally. He now climbs up his highchair and cries until I let him down. And he climbs up the couch and sits on the window sill and bangs on the window. I have tried EVERYTHING and nothing gets through to this child.

Today I totally felt like getting a naughty mat for him to sit on and give him a bit of boot camp. I cannot continue to let him run the show because it's wearing me out. I can't even take him to church because he can't sit still for 10 seconds. And the stupid mother I am bought a book on toddlers which basically said that he has ADHD. What am I supposed to do? He is way more active than the average 18 month old.

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Kaytee

you need to calm down. Take abig breath and relax. Your child is most likely not ADD, he's just a boy.
Thats all I have for now lol, I have to go , but will try to reply soon

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Lissa

What really threw me over the edge today was his behavior in a store. I allowed him to sit down and play with toys while I was looking for clothes for him (at Once Upon a Child). He kept running off and even once made it out the door. I told hiim to stay by me at least a dozen times and he found it funny that I kept having to chase him.

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Trina

{{{HUGS}}} Sounds like typical toddler behavior, believe it or not. Some more so than others. They are very busy and into everything, which makes life challenging for parents. I remember being totally exhausted by the time DH got home from work. I didn't go out shopping with the kids unless I absolutely had to. DH watched them on the weekends so that I could get out and about ALONE. Not only was shopping more productive, but I got a much needed mommy break.

Trina

Helpful and informative articles here:

Behavior Problems - BabyCenter

Lissa

Thanks Trina.

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Ari2

My twins are about Oliver's age.

I don't think my kids have ADD and what you are describing is most likely typical toddler behavior. My solution is prevent as much as this as possible:
- We have toddler-proofed our downstairs as completely as possible. This includes turning our couch and living room chair around so they can't sit/climb on them. We also have the majority of our living room enclosed, so they can't run off.
- They are buckled into their high chairs.
- We warn them about throwing their sippy cups while in the high chairs, then we take the cups away temporarily when they do it again (and we leave them in their sight, so they remember what they missing - when they whine I say "I'm sorry, but you didn't keep your cup on your tray"). It's the same thing with finger food: a warning or two, then it is taken away and they are fed by spoon for a while, which they don't like.
- They have to hold our hands when walking anywhere but the park so they can't run into the street, into other people, etc. If they won't hold hands, they either are carried or buckled into their stroller.
- If a toy is thrown, the offender is reminded that toys aren't for throwing and that toy is put out of reach but in sight for quite a while. If this means multiple toys are put away, fine. If it turns into a contest, then we leave the room and go to another place with another activity.
- A big problem is the kids banging or scratching the walls with toys. We do the same as with throwing: A warning, then the toy is taken away. At one point, our entire mantle was covered with off-limit toys.

Two general things that help: I have...well, it sounds weird, but a warning sound. I say, "Ah ah ah..." when I see trouble coming such as my son about to bang the wall or window with a toy or my daughter getting ready to bite her brother. I've never used time outs or force, but for some reason they understand that this means they need to stop - now. It probably started because I wanted to avoid saying "no" all the time and used "ah ah ah" before I issued any warning. With consistency, it stuck. It now saves my sanity to be able to give them warning and have it work 90%+ of the time.

The second lifesaver was to not get in battles or games over power. If the game becomes throwing food like monkeys just watch me pick it up, the food is taken away and they are fed by spoon. If they don't want to be spoonfed, then the meal is over (they are in no danger of starving and seem to know not to fool around when they are really hungry). If the battle is throwing every toy because one of them is super cranky, we go upstairs to a new environment and less throw-able toys. Removing them from one place that is not working seems to help quite a bit.

I don't mean this as a long discussion about what a great mom I am. I completely understand being driven crazy and to the point of exhaustion. I just wanted to be as specific as possible about what often (but not always) works for us.

Hang in there, Lissa. They can't be crazy, untamed monkeys forever, right? Right?

musicmom

Cthru

oh you are bringing back such bad memories.. that could totally have been my post when my son was that age. He's still a handfull, but at 3 at least we're at the point where we can reason and counting 1, 2, 3 does the trick most of the time.

My suggestion my not fly well with AP parents.. but I suggest buying a gate. Put it in an area where if you put him behind it he can't get into any trouble (with us it was his room). Everytime you get to 3.. he goes behind the gate for a few minutes. It sucks big time, the crying will get to you so bad... but within a week i bet you see improvement and won't have to make it to 3.

ETA - I failed to mention the gate needs to be a tall non-scaleable gate. If yours is anything like mine most gates are nothing but a speed bump *lol* I have one I can recommend if you want to go that route.

Lissa

Thank you all for the help!! I'm really desperate here. My friend bought her child a naughty mat at 18 months. Do you think that woudl work here?

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