kellyals907

Hi all,
This is my first post and I am in need of some help. My youngest daughter is 3 1/2 and she still takes her pacifier (she calls it her pappy) and she won't even talk about using the potty. She is very attached to her pappy and keeps it in her mouth most of the time. I have tried everything, giving them away to a new baby that doesn't have one, she tells me that the baby's mom can go to Wal Mart and get him one. lol I have tried to get her to give it to the pappy fairy, she wouldn't buy that. I have even tried cutting the ends, well she notices that right away. She will come tell me that pappy is broken and she will go get another one from the drawer where I keep them. I have tried telling her that she is a big girl now and big girls don't have pappys. She immediately tells me that she is a baby. The only thing I have managed to do is get her to let me have it when went to the school for a carnival recently. I told her that they don't let kids have pappys at school. She said ok, and left it in the car, but as soon as we walked out the door to go back to the car she asked for her papppy back.
As for potty training, she is just not interested at all. I have taken her to buy new big girl undies, and let her pick them out, thinking that would motivate her some. Nope, she won't even wear them. If I try to make her wear them she will cry until she makes herself sick.
I know that every child is different but my other two children were using the potty by 2 1/2.
And as far as the pappy, I am at a loss, I just don't know what to do.

fallon

I use to tell my dd I could understand anything she said with a binky in her mouth. After a while she would leave it out to talk and walk away from it somewhere. I would sneak over and take it and and tell her it was "lost". I told her she could get another but when the ones in the house were all "lost" we wouldn't buy anymore because they only sell binkies to babies and the store would not let me get her anymore because 2yr olds aren't babies. eventually all binkies were missing and she was done.
as far as the potty training thing, I'm at a loss...we did what you did only it worked on this end. Eventually she's going to have to get out of the diapers though, have you talked to her doc?

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FooserX

I'm with Fallon. I think you could just throw all the pacifiers away while she's at school (since she's gone all day without it anyway) and then never go buy new ones. Eventually, she'll stop crying and asking for it.

Maybe try punishing her for not using the potty? Like...no more deserts until she uses it? After a few days of seeing her siblings have some, maybe she's start to miss it.

Trina

Stop buying new pacifiers. When they run out, tell your youngest, "They're all gone. I'm not buying any more. Pacifiers are for babies, and you're not a baby." Leave it at that and stick to your guns. Yes, she will fuss, but keep her preoccupied with other activities, and encourage her to find comfort in ways that are age appropriate. Does she have a special blanket or toy?

Potty training - All kids are different. I wouldn't punish her. Some kids PT later than others. My DS didn't train until 4, no matter what we tried. DD trained before turning 3. For now, I would back off and leave her in Pull Ups. Wait a few weeks and then try again, but keep it low key. PT can turn into a power struggle if you put too much pressure on them. Perhaps try a sticker incentive chart where she can earn a sticker for every time she successfully uses the toilet. So many stickers earns her a special toy, treat or outing. Whatever would mean something to her. DS was a huge Thomas the Tank Engine fan, so he worked towards earning new Thomas characters. DD liked small, stuffed animals.

Good luck!

fallon

sticker chart worked great for us...with a sm reward system

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Kaytee

I'm with the sticker chart for trainig and throwing away the pacis. Just no more, she will scram an dfuss for a few days but it is better for her. If she is using it as much as you say it will hurt her teeth. Stick to your guns mom!

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kellyals907

I don't and have not bought any pacys in a long time. The problem is we still have many here. I will not be buying any more and I have told her that once the ones we have are gone, they are gone.
I have started making her take it out when she talks, but she keeps it in her hand and as soon as she has finished talking, she pops it right back in her mouth.
She does not go to school, I was referring when we go to the school, ( where my other daughters attend) for parties, carnivals etc.
She doesn't have anything else that she is attached to like a blanket or anything. Just that darn pappy.
I have talked to her pediatrician and as far as the pacy is concerned he gave me the things to try I mentioned above. I told him they did not work for us. I have also talked with him about potty training. He said I just needed to give her a lil more time and maybe she needs to mature a little more first.
He told me that most kids will throw their pacy away on their own and there is no need to make it traumatic for them. He told me to try to get her excited about becoming a big girl and let her do "big girl" things, and while she is doing those big girl things she cant have a pacy in her mouth. Well that works until she gets bored doing the big girl thing and she starts crying for her pappy back. And she tells me that she is a baby not a big girl.
Oh and I have also tried bribing her too. I have tried to get her to trade her pappy for a prize that she can pick out at the store, she wants no part of it.

Kaytee

well if you want her to give the paci away on her own, then you just have to sit and wait. She may do it next week, it may be when she is 5. Thats your choice, but if you want her to get rid of it now, and you have tried all those approaches, then just getting rid of them is all you can do.

At 3 1/2 she most likely can control herself to go to the bathroom, it seems more like a power struggle. But I am not in your house so don't know that for sure

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kellyals907

I am gonna pick up some stickers today and give this a try.

I am worried about her teeth as well. They are still perfectly straight and pretty right now and I want them to stay that way.

Kaytee

hers a good site about older kids and pacis
http://www.typeamom.net/wiki/tiki-re...?articleId=116
you may have already tried everything but...


Set it up so she can do somwthing fun, like a gymboree class or go to the bookstore to buy a book. Go to the zoo, something that would make her Very happy

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