Lissa

My son is one year old. I have been with him 24/7 since the day he was born. I gave up my career to be a mom. Money is getting tight and my husband isn't making as much as he used to. Now he wants me to go back to work full time so he can stay home. My question is if I go to work full time is my son going to be less attached to me? Will our bond go away? I feel like if I leave him 40 hours a week he will be disappointed and love me less. These are my biggest fears. I know they sound distorted but maybe someone can make me feel better and help me to make a rational decision.

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Kaytee

Your bond will not go away!!!! Please don't ever think that. Your son will love you just as much as he did. It may be a hard adjustment for him in the begining but he will get used to it and he will be fine.

One thing to consider: Most daycares are on average 200-250 a week for children in diapers. So make sure you are taking that into consideration when going back to work. Also clothes for work, gas money, lunch money things like that will go up.

We are also uaully very strapped for cash, but for me to go back to work, I would only make around 350 a month after all of that. Imake around 200 at the church nursery every month, so.... well not worth it ya know.

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Lissa

If I went back to work my husband would stay home and work evenings and maybe weekends so we don't have to go the daycare route.

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Kaytee

well then he would still be with dad all day? Maybe his bond with dad will grow, but his bond with you will never go away.
If your dh onlhy workd evenings and weekends, does he have enough time to work all the hours he needs?

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fallon

I agree with kaytee, the only thing I want to add is that you and your dh need to be ready for the strain a schedual like that can put on a marriage. Some couples are strong enough to handle never having time for each other but some aren't so you need to be prepared to make it work, and expect it to be hard. I have a bit of experience with this. you can make it work it's just very very hard.

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Lissa

We're definitely used to the strain. Right now he works 16 hour days. I only see him on the weekends. It isn't easy. At least if I worked FT I would be able to see him for a couple hours in the evening.

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fallon

that's good. With my ex husband he worked full time during the day...I worked nights we seriously saw eachother for maybe 10 min before I left for work and like 20 minutes at night it was really tough

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Kaytee

So is he going to cut back his hours if he stays home during the day? ( not being snooty, just curious)

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If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
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ljmahr

I think your bond might actually grow more. My husband works full time and alot at certain season's. Like now, my 2 year old says she's daddy's girl. Never mine! I am the one that is with her all day but yet not the one she wants. I think if it was the other way around she would want me more.
So if your husband is with your son more, than your son will miss you and want to be with you more.

Lissa

My husband is going to look for a job where he could work evenings (not too late) and maybe some weekends.

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