Parents Forum

happy2bg33k · 06-07-2007, 05:42 AM

Has anyone else seen this in the 4-5 year old range? That look right at you, grin and do exactly what you've just told him not to do? My daughter was so laid back and my son has some special needs which affect his behavior and all the kids I work with in my job have disabilities and so I sometimes lose sight of what is "normal" behavior for this age group!

Kaytee · 06-07-2007, 06:42 AM

I would say YES!!!! Again my dd is still little. But my sisters kids are 5 and almost 8 and I can tell you the times she calls me ready to pull her hair out!!
for example, a few weeks ago she told her dd (5) to sit down and buckle up, child kept fidgeting not buckling the belt, she said again, sit down and buckle up. Child looks straight at her and says "I don't want to hear your voice right now" My sis did not know what to do, it sounded so funny coming from a child, but at the same time. She doesn't ever rememebr saying something like that to her kids but the child heard it somewhere.
Or same child did not want to go to soccer preactice that day, she anted to go to a friends house instead. Being that soccer costs money, my sister said no you are going at thats it. So they all go to the game and this gorgeous 5 year old, marches up and down the field behind the other players while nonchalntly (sp) saying "I'm bored, I'm bored!"

newdad06 · 06-07-2007, 07:07 AM

As much as defiance urks us, it is part of a child developing their identity. When they say no they are recognizing that they are independent of the will of their parent. Doesn't mean we don't correct them when they disobey, but it's important to remember their just becoming more than a "mimi me."

mamab · 06-07-2007, 04:35 PM

Oh willful defiance and disobedience always is dealt with at my house. Doing something that's foolish is one thing, doing something on purpose, after being told NOT to, is entirely different.

Melissa · 06-07-2007, 05:11 PM

Each kid is so different. Although my kids have done this only a handful of times with me. When I was at a co-op preschool, I saw this behavior daily.

happy2bg33k · 06-08-2007, 06:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamab

Oh willful defiance and disobedience always is dealt with at my house. Doing something that's foolish is one thing, doing something on purpose, after being told NOT to, is entirely different.

Absolutely! That's where the difference lies for me. Asserting independence is natural, healthy and encouraged in our household. It's the doing things just to get a rise out of somebody which is unacceptable as it's a very unkind way to behave.

Kaytee · 06-08-2007, 06:39 AM

It is unkind but I think its natural for htem to find their boundries and the run past them as fast as they can go!! lol

Melissa · 06-08-2007, 08:33 AM

I have to agree that testing boundaries comes with the age. Different kids do in in different ways. When my youngest was 4 she would whine until I thought my head was going to explode! And it was all about pushing me and seeing how far she could go.

I do agree that it has to be handled. That boundaries have to be reinforced, but I think it also helps to know that it is likely a developmental issue and if it is handled with consistency, working through this problem might really help the child on the road to developing his own self-control.

SageMother · 06-09-2007, 04:13 PM

I think one of my sons tried that once. I didn't see the behavior again after that spanking.

mymonstersmom · 06-09-2007, 04:30 PM

Our two little ones ( 8 and 9) still try this with us. We don't give them an inch, though, and they're punished right away. I think it's just an issue with bounderies, like a previous poster alluded too. As they grow, they develop these pesky things called personalities that get them in hot water from time to time. It can be quite troubling

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