Parents Forum

Hunter · 08-01-2007, 11:07 PM

Sex is a very powerful force, it will make people do things they never thought the would ever do, both good and bad.

jtee · 08-01-2007, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaytee

... she seems to trust people way to much. This boy she had sex with was close to her, what will happen when she is 16 and her bf tells her he loves her, will she do it again? Or things like drugs when she gets older? She just seems like she is very trusting of anyone and that can be very dangerous as she gets older

Kaytee, Your point is a valid concern.

Kaytee · 08-02-2007, 07:12 AM

I hope you are right, I don't know the statistics on it, but a good amoutn of Junior High kids are being offered drugs. Also its big for them to use OTC drugs in jr. high I will still pray your dd stays away from them

jtee · 08-02-2007, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaytee

I hope you are right, I don't know the statistics on it, but a good amount of Junior High kids are being offered drugs. Also its big for them to use OTC drugs in jr. high I will still pray your dd stays away from them

We are concerned about this as well, and it has been discussed with her. She understands that drugs are dangerous. The school she will be attending is not known for having drug or gang problems. Where we live is a pretty nice area and the crime is low, mostly coming from the outside rather from the inside.

megan · 08-05-2007, 11:52 AM

What did you decide to do about birth control?

I know it is your decision as her parents, but like it or not, she will be having sex again. That is not guess, it is a reality. Maybe not now, but there will come a day when she decides to have sex again and again and again..... And when that day comes, she needs to be using birth control, and if she doesn't have it, she won't be using it. It is not any more complicated than that!

Parents can live with the ideal hope of 50s TVs where nobody has sex, or if they do it is only after they are married. Today people don't stick their head in the sand so much, and know there is a reasonable high probability that their children are going to be having sex before they get married, and some of them will be having sex as teenagers (or younger).

From what I have read so far, your daughter choose to continue to have sex beyond simply being curious about it, and enjoyed having sex for many of the same reasons any girl and woman enjoys sex with the right partner. This means, IMHO, that she will be choosing to have sex more sooner (next 2 years) than later. Not suggesting she is going to be having sex with lots of partners, she could very well be very selective with high standards, but still have sex frequently with one partner. She doesn't have to have sex with a lot different partners to get pregnant, one is enough.

The reality of life is that there is nothing else like sex, and once a person has enjoyed it once, they are going to want to have the experience again and again. Your daughter has enjoyed the experience of having a male erection inside her vagina, and at the very least at subconscious and biological level, she is going to want experience sex again whether or not she tells her parents about it. She is pretty young and her sexual desires are not fully developed yet, so with each passing day her sexual desires will mature with her into her 20s and 30s. This is a reality of life for everyone, not just your daughter.

Please get her some birth control!

Megan

Momof2 · 08-06-2007, 07:37 AM

I have read this and am not surprised by the many different thought and ideas everyone has. Sex is a very complex matter. The rules of sex are different for everyone. The rules of sex have also changed over the years also. There was a time when Kids were encouraged to find partners so as to keep the family bloodlines going and the family farms. I think the only one who can decide how to handle what to do when their child has begun having sex is the childs' parent. My children are 3 and 5. My hubby and I have already begun discussing how we are going to talk to our kids. Hubby has double standards for them already. For my 5 yr old daughter he says if she gets pregnant she is on her own. Then when I ask about our 3 yr old son getting a girl pregnant he says he'll tell him congrats. My belief is that if you educate them on all aspects of sex then the more informed they are the better choices they will make. One thing hubby and I do agree on is making sure both kids are protected if they do have sexand that they know they can talk to us about it. We could go the route of chastity belts (yes they are still sold) but where there is a will there is a way. So in my honest opinion talk to you children about all aspects. I myself have upon hearing I want a kid from a few teens offered them the chance to care for my children for 24 hours to see what being a parent is like. To this day I have had no takers. Maybe as parents this is an offer we should make to anyone who we hear say I want a kid. Let the kids see what life is like as parents but under our watchful eye. Or if it is your own child saying this then find a friend who will let them have the expierence so they know where their path could lead. Be direct and honest with them. My life was a bit different than most normal kids and Though I do love my kids I can honestly say I wish I had waited.

jtee · 08-06-2007, 11:20 AM

The birth control control issue was the one issue my wife and I had a difficult time agreeing on. She wanted our daughter to have it now, I and I wanted to wait until she was a little older. It was our daughter's doctor that convinced me that our daughter needed access to it. The compromise, if you can call it that, is that we now have birth control in our home for our daughter, and she knows where it is located and she has been shown how to use it.

Patn · 08-08-2007, 11:16 AM

Hi, I think it is good that she has BC now. She really needs it for the next time she is intimate with her BF.

I have a very good friend who has been intimate with her BF a few times, and just this last month she was "late" and it really scared her more than she had ever been before. She and her BF weren't using BC because they didn't have any and he had his release while he was still inside her. She's a little older than your daughter, she just turned 14 and mature enough now that she needs to be using BC, if for no other reason it takes the worry out of being completely intimate with her BF.

Patti

Kaytee · 08-08-2007, 11:59 AM

14 is stil not mature enought obe having sex. Believe me when I say that. Your bodies may physically enjoy the sex, but emotionally you are not ready. You may think its ok now, but wait till your friend breaks up with her bf. And chances are she will. At 14, please I can 't even count the bfs I had since 14.

jtee · 08-08-2007, 02:14 PM

Hi Patti, I am sure it is very scary for a 14 year old girl to be late after having had unprotected sex.

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