meow_173

Maybe he doesn't see anything wrong with it because your daughter does it

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HappyMomma

Have you actually talked to him about it? Not confrontationally but just communicate with him about his feelings?

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The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

josie

Last night when he came into bed with me I asked him what the problem was and he just said that he didn't want to be alone and then started grabbing me in his usual manner!

Should I just ask him outright? How would you go about it? His bedtime is in 5 minutes - do you think then would be a good time to talk?

Sirk

I think it's weird that a mom thinks it's weird that a 7 year old would want hugs.


Sounds like he's lacking something during waking hours that he's trying to get during sleeping ones.

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HappyMomma

I would just ask questions (conversationally and gently) such as:
"Why do you think you feel lonely sometimes?"
"Do you ever have bad dreams?"
"What do you dream about?"

It's possible question of 'What is the problem?" May be a bit too broad for his age.

Just an idea, hopefully that will help get him to open up and give you some insight to what is going on.

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The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

OneGiantStep

Do you spend enough time with him?

Maybe he's just starving for attention; his dad isn't home so it may be crucial that you spend a lot of time with him.

josie

I have three children and divide my time equally between them. He's quieter than my youngest daughter and has never been as clingy. She's growing out of this stage though.

I told him that his bed is nice and cosy and subtly asked him why he wanted to come into mine and again he said because he gets lonely but he also said to feel safe...

meow_173

safe from what??

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HappyMomma

Yeah, I would be asking for more specifics (gently of course.)

Where is this insecurity coming from, is my biggest curiosity.

__________________
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

josie

He says that he doesn't have nightmares and just said that sleeping in my bed makes him feel safe.

My mother seemed to think that he's trying to fill his dad's place and that he thinks that he is keeping me safe.

I don't know, though.