mbw2123

I Haven't read all of the replies, but I will tell you what we did with our 8 and 11 year that seems to be working. We tried everything before. They had lost all of their possesions. We thought they would work harder to get them back or to behave to not lose them again. The more we took away privilages the less they tried. So we started positive reinforcement. We send a chart to school with our kids everyday. The charts are divided into periods at school. So every subject or period they are working for points. For every subject or period they have to complete about four different task to earn a point. The task include participation, classwork, handed in homework, interaction with other children, but you can adjust this to what your child needs to work on. My 11 year old can earn up to 24 points a day. These points are used to "buy" everyday privilages like watching tv or playing video games. He can save his points to have bigger privilages like having a friend over, cost 20 points. Going to the movies 30 points. This has become a big thing in our house. The kids like to earn and spend points on things they want to do.

Another thing we have learned is that when they having a problem with something, we have to put them in a situation where they have to practice. For instance my boys have a hard time getting along. This instance they decided to fight on the school bus and got kicked off for a day. It obviously put us out cause of work. So to learn how to cope with each other, for the next two weeks they have to spend a lot of time together. They have to share a room, sit with each other at the table, etc. It is working!

Both my boys are ADD. We started the Total Focus with them. This is where we got the point system. If you havent heard of it before it is a comprehennsive program to improve attention, concentration, and self-control. For information you can go to Total Focus Program by Dr. Robert Myers

musicmom