seeeker

Having researched this for quite a while on the web, I have found countless articles, webpages, PDFs, etc, on middle road, cautionary theories about the pros and cons of the pacifier. How some children need them until this age, some until that age. Some reasons why they need them. The potential downsides, etc.

What I want to know is when enough is enough, HOW DO YOU WEAN THEM OFF THE PACIFIER. Like Step 1 do this. Step 2 do this. Step 3 do this.

My son is almost four. Although we have reduced and limited his pacifier dependency to down time, in the bedroom, he is still most definitely reliant upon it. He really needs it. Periodically throughout the day he may go to his room to be alone for ten minutes, we come home from four hours at the museum, such and such. And definitely at bedtime. I realize it might be a natural process, but it is really testing my patience. I don't think he should be dependent on it at four yrs old. It just seems a continuation of his infant dependency.

When I was young (5, 6, maybe, the age is not the comparison, it's the subject) I had a nightlight in my room. I remember vividly the night the bulb broke and we did not have a replacement. The first night I shivered in the pitch black thinking there were monsters. But after a few days, I forgot all about it.

I just get the urge to throw it in the garbage and deal with the crying for a few days, hoping he will get used to it being gone in short time.

But everyone around me tells me to just let it go, whatever.

So I would really like to find specific techniques, if there are any, on how to wean off its use. Just so if we decide it's time, maybe there's a right way to do it.

If you weaned your child off it, how did it happen?

Jeremy+3

Our foster children both had dummies they occasionally use, they came with them you could say, by which time taking them away would be too stressful as they were small babies. Our oldest doesn't anymore, if you celebrate christmas (with santa), you can leave the dummy for santa, that way a little baby can have the dummy and santa will leave a special present to say thank you for the dummy.

We sent Jade's off the fairy's, we got a wand, some glitter, the magic fairy dust made the dummy disappear and go to the fairy's castle.

It is normal to want the comfort of something such as a dummy at four, the only reason we got rid of Jade's is because she used to put it in weird places and then suck it, bleurgh. Jake still wants the boob sometimes while he is having a cuddle or doesn't feel very well, recently my wife has been saying no, he isn't impressed at all, but as he only occasionally asks, he doesn't get too upset at being denied.

mom2many

At four you could make it an event, he is more then capable of understanding.

The baby fairy, santa....all of those could exchange the paci for a surprise. The days following won't be easy but they shouldn't be to bad. Try structuring those days so there is very little down time...that's how all of mine broke thier need for them, I didn't do it intentionally it just worked out that way.

Good luck, it requires a bit of patience.

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NinJaBob

My daughter had a pacifier for a while. She really wanted a Build-A-Bear. We convinced her that if she gave up her pacifier then she could have a bear. We took her to Build-A-Bear and told her that if she put her paci in the bear then she would always have it with her. It worked. She hasn't even asked for her paci since then and she is not even that attached to the bear.

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16th ave.

where were ya'll 3 yrs ago???? we could have used these ideas then. they're great!!! something to keep in mind when grandkids come along in aobut 20 yrs..

anyway, we did it the tough way. started tossing the binkies in the trash every time we saw one and hiding them too. explained to chloe about being a big girl and how she'd have to give them up. if she really wanted one then she'd have to find one herself at nap time and bedtime and every other time or learn to keep one put up where she could find it easily. we went through alot of hissy fits but that sure beat spending $5-$10 or so every 2 weeks to replace lost binkies. the whole process actually didn't last very long--about a week or so but not much more. chloe's teeth are a little crooked but alot of that crookedness is inherited and not from the binkies themselves.

generally we're like you--a four yr. old should not be on a binky. maybe they have a special stuffy puffy (animal) or blanky for comfort but not a binky. something for comfort is fine but binkies are for infants who are needing that "sucking" thing they naturally have as newborns. clearly a 4 yr. old is not an infant and should have been weaned off bottles and binkies by then and should have no need for such a thing unless they are a special needs child.

it is a natural process but there does come an time when some parents have to put their foot down and say no. you're the parent. you know what's best for your children. sometimes ya just gotta do things the hard way no matter what. if its where you believe enough is enough then go with your instincts and do it and don't worry much what everyone else says.

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