Parents Forum

mamab · 08-02-2007, 11:00 AM

My almost 10 year old son is about to drive me batty. He'll do something stupid, knowing he'll be called on it. When I DO call him on it and ask him why he'd do something he knew he'd get fussed at about, his response every time is, "I don't know." Please, it's driving me nuts! What can I do, how should I handle this?

SageMother · 08-02-2007, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamab

My almost 10 year old son is about to drive me batty. He'll do something stupid, knowing he'll be called on it. When I DO call him on it and ask him why he'd do something he knew he'd get fussed at about, his response every time is, "I don't know." Please, it's driving me nuts! What can I do, how should I handle this?

It seems that parents project alot of things on kids that probably aren't as true as we think.

"Knowing" they are going to be called on something isn't the reality of many situations. Kids go through periods where they do mindless things, and they are truly mindless. They aren't processing consequences or ramifications and aren't really focused on what it is they are doing. It's as if the body is in motion and the mind is sort of going along for the ride. When they say "I don't know" they truly don't know.

Also, we as parents tend to assume that our reactions and limits are always generalized to similar situations by the child. This just isn't so. Many things are generalized, but with new height, weight, abilities, and other things related to growth and development the world becomes several new experiences and so generalization has stopped at a previous level of ability.

My favorite example is this commercial with a kid shaking a bottle of soda pop and the top flying off and the mom saying "Jimmy, what's wrong with you?"..then they have this huge, fun water /pop fight...but the point is the mom's reaction. They have the kid doing what kids will do. He's shaking the bottle and in concentrating on what the bubbles are doing. He isn't thinking about the pressure building up and the top flying off. If you were to ask why he did that...he would say "I don't know", because he isn't observing what he is doing, he is just doing it.

dad_of_son · 08-02-2007, 12:41 PM

Without knowing any more details about your son or you, my first thoughts, and I have these thoughts about my own kids, is that they want more of your time.

sandmike123 · 08-03-2007, 06:47 AM

My boys use that alot.... But my favorite is when something happens nobody did it... That nobody sure gets into a lot of trouble in my house.

Kaytee · 08-03-2007, 07:40 AM

Wasn't there just a study done theat shows that the pre-teen and teen mind is developing so quickly during this age that they don't think things through?