Zivid

My 11 year old son (nearly 12) is a realy nice boy. He loves sports, and is very athletic. But besides that point, he has a lot of friends, they are all 11 and one is 12, so 2 of his freinds came over for one night for a sleep over. All was fine, they were hanging out in the livving room. They didnt make to much noise, while i was sleeping. So i deside to check up on them, and apparently they were playing a truth or dare game, and i find 2 of them my son and david, naked doing some very interesting dance, infront of the other.


Is this behavior normal for 11 and 12 year olds, i would imagen they would be more modist, but they havent hit puberty yet. He was very imberased, and i had a talk with all of them, and my son the next day. Should i punish him? what should i do to discourage this? or is this normal and i should let them have their fun?

Please help

jtee

I can't speak for boys, but we have had many girl sleeps overs and they have played this kind of game before. My wife has spoken to our daughter about it and told her about the limits involved. Dares have to be pretty mild and a girl has the right to refuse to do either. Most of the time it is "Who do you like better John or Mike?" or "Have you ever kissed a boy?". I've never known them have dares that include nudity, but these girls barely dressed late a night anyway.

Claire64

I don't think there's too much to worry about. Truth or dare is really popular with my boys and their friends and the dares often involve taking off clothing.

If he was embarrassed by what he did, then he knows it is wrong, and whether you punish him or not is up to you, but I wouldn't unless you find out that one of the boys was pressured into something he really didn't want to do.

Music-dad

I too don't think you have too much to worry about, most likely the fact that you caught them will deter it in the future, they just ended up with the nasty dare.

Just lay down some ground rules for next time, and keep the dares fun and without nudity, degradation or major embarassment. Like, do 20 pushups, or stand on one leg for 2 minutes. Give them some fun dare ideas.

Cthru

I've never caught my daughters doing this but that's not to imply it hasn't happend. I'd question it too.. but I bet they were just goofing off and doing a mini 'jackass'

Aunt

Actually this is very normal for boys at puberty. Also distasteful but within the realm of normal are locker room "comparison" sort of games and even masturbation games. (usually involving some sort of "race" to finish first)

musicmom

I guess I'm different because those boys would have been going home right then and there, my son would have had a talking to. God forbid anyone get raped or molested and the parent goes to jail for neglect.
This was not normal behavior at ANY of my sleeping parties nor any adult parties. WTH?
No it's not ok at all. I don't want any other child to see my children naked. I would flip the heck out and their parents would KNOW it. It's inappropriate without a doubt. Not at that age.

Aunt

The boys were not being molested, they were being young and stupid. It does not sound like this behavior was coerced in any way. There was no adult encouraging it. Going nuts about normal but distasteful adolescent behavior reinforces the unhealthy idea that the human body is something to be deeply ashamed of. This actually makes perverse "fetish" like behavior more attractive to some. It also really does trivialize the how truly wrong real molestation is.
If the embarrasment of his mom catching him in such foolishness is not already a deterrent i would have a brief chat with him about this sort of thing not really being appropriate, or perhaps have an adult male talk to him but I would not make a mountain out of a molehill. I would also do some reading on male sexuality. Bear in mind that the boy is also reaching an age where curiosity about the female form is becoming greater so you may want to be sure and put a decent net nanny on the computer.
try some of these links for info on childhood sexuality.
Child Sexual Development
Humboldt-Universität zu Berlin
The Kinsey Institute - Home

meow_173

Music dad, i triple dog dare you to dance around naked!!!!!!


and i agree with aunt.....nothing sexual happened, and they were playing truth or dare.

But wait until they are 18 or 19 and theres alcohol invloved, they wont be dancing in your living room. THey will be streaking down your street..........yes my brother did this a year or so ago......with his friends...and they taped it.......i'll admit it was the funniest thing i've ever watched...

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