marbrown282004

I have a 7 yr old son who has ADHD and is terrified of the dark and follows my every move. He is having trouble getting in his own bed to sleep. He wants to be right next to me. Any suggestions would be helpful-- I do not want him to feel scared. please help.

Kaytee

I don't have an older child as mine is only 15 months, but what about trying to get him to sleep at the foot of your bed like in a cot or a sleeping bag for a few weeks and then slowly move him into his own room.

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iceni35

My eldest son went through a stage of not wanting to sleep by himself when his dad and I split up.
I had a 10 week old at that time too, so really needed him to sleep in his own room. I decided to decorate his room....he got to choose everything for it, colour, carpets, furniture.
At bed time we had a story and i`d stay with him until he was asleep. I always left the door open and the hall light on. He had glow in the dark stars and moons all over his ceiling too! It took a while but he now sleeps in his own room every night and has the door shut and the light off.

Melissa

Since I don't have a 7 year old with ADHD, I don't feel I truly know what you're going through, but here are some things that come to mind.
Your son is afraid of the dark. Would he sleep in his own bed if there were a light? If so, could you very slowly over several weeks, dim the light as he feels more comfortable? I only suggest dimming the light because I've read that it's hard to get deep sleep when there is light in the room.

Also, I know families who do the family-bed thing, which I think is a personal choice that works for many. So I am wondering if this is a question of you feeling it's inappropriate for him to sleep with you or if you just really need some space, which I think we can all understand.

After my youngest was born and we were dealing with a whole host of sleeping issues, including mine, my husband and I ended up each sleeping in separate beds, one with each kid. I know to some people this sounds horrible, but at the time it made perfect sense. When we needed some alone time for just the two of us, we met in another room when the kids were asleep.

Now my two girls share a bed and I think being near each other helps them sleep.

Good luck!

SageMother

This is a tough one.

Has he had any night terrors? I ask because sometimes the ind seems not to be able to calm itself down enough for peaceful rest. This might be an artifact of the ADHD. I think you might need to talk to a doctor and consider therapy for him.

Please keep us up to date on how things are going. There are many concerned people here who are happy to lend a sympathetic ear.

Stephanie2377

Is this something new, or has he always been afraid of the dark? If it is something new, it might be the manifestation of other fears (perhaps something happening at school) So, I would explore this first and foremost.

Next, he is old enough that you can discuss with him what options there are. If you feel strongly that he sleeps in his own bed, tell him that. You can say that you know it can be scary for him, and why don't the two of you figure out ways to make it less scary. Maybe he can pick out some cool nightlights (or maybe a lava lamp!). Or, you can create some ritual to help keep him safe at night. (a friend of mine's 8yo would line his bed with superheroes to "keep the monsters away")

You could do a worry/fears jar with him. He just writes down his worries/fears, and then can stick them in the jar so he doesn't have to worry about them during the night.

Is there one thing in particular that scares him most in the dark?

I can't imagine how tough this must be for you all. Please keep us updated!

marlaw

This is my 1st post to this forum-I have a nine year old daughter who is still sleeping on my bedroom floor, she had started sleeping in her own bed all night in January of 2006 and then we had some realy bad weather and that blew that out the window and then another incident occurred. I have decided that it is not worth the battle and she will eventually out grow this, I don't feel I should punish her for being scared. I think in our case we may be dealing with something along the lines of post traumatic stress disorder. I am posting a separate thread on this. I have some questions and maybe a few of you will have some answers or help for me! Glad to be here and hope to make some new friends.

Chola82

My little brother used to sleep in my parents room every night and that's when he finally stopped sleeping in there, when he got to help decorate his room the way he wanted. he now as a dinosaur theme in threre. It's been that way for a bit over a year and he's 8, and they don't have the problem they used to at all.

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sunbaby

My husband and I had a hard time getting my daughter to sleep in her own room until she saw a new bed she wanted. We told her until she started sleeping in her room on a regular basis, we weren't going to by her a bigger "princess" bed. It seemed to do the trick because she has slept in her room ever since. If you can find something that is an incentive for your son, you may find he wants to sleep in his room with no problem. My daughter is also scared of the dark, so she has a nightlight that stays on all night long. Hope this helps!