jenilouise

Not quite sure where to put this so feel free to move it. This is my personal sexual abuse story.

When I was seven years old my uncle came to live with us. He often babysitted for us (my younger sister, younger brother, and myself) when my dad and stepmom needed him to especially when we were sick and the daycare would not take us. I was a few weeks shy of eight when I got the chicken pox and that is when he started molesting me. It went on until I was 10 years old. What I didn't know at the time was that he was also abusing my sister. We were issued threat after threat about what would happen if we told. I lived all that time in terror.

He and my father had a falling out and then he was out of our lives but lived in the same town. Sometimes we would see him at the same restaurant or at the mall and a shiver of terror would go through me. I was 15 when he trailed his car alongside me as I walked home from school. The next day I asked a peer counselor friend to come get me during his counseling period and I finally told. He took me to a school counselor and I told her and together we called my dad. I was so scared but my dad was wonderful. His family disowned me (his sisters Colleen and Betty were the only ones still living at the time.) It was then I learned he had done the same thing to my sister. My dad called the police and we had to give statements.

The rest of my high school career was peppered with court dates. It was hard facing him. It was hard telling a court room full of people exactly what he had done. Saying the words made me feel dirty. It was hard knowing he had married a woman with two daughters (sidenote: he never touched my brother) and he had molested them too. I felt responsible for that for a long time because I was too scared to tell. Finally he was convicted in 1996. I was 17. We had to give victims statements. I had practiced mine over and over and still as I was giving it I couldn't stop crying. The judge gave him 18 years with no possibility of parole. Unfortunately in 2003 they changed the statute of limitations and retroacted it to 1994 which is when I told. The new statute was 5 years meaning that while he was still guilty of the charges from the earlier years he could only serve time for the ones from 1989 and he had srved enough time to cover it. He was told he couldn't live or work within 35 miles of where I lived and I got an added protection order against him. I check the Megan's Law website all the time and recently found out he is in violation.

There it is- now maybe everyone can understand why I see things the way I do. He doesn't feel remorse and sometimes I feel like I have a life sentance because I have to live with what he has done for the rest of my life. I am angry sometimes. Others I feel like a survivor and I try like hell not to be a victim anymore. Sometimes I am sad because I didn't get a childhood. Mostly I am scared because my parents were amazing and did everything they could to keep me safe. Be careful of who you trust.

__________________

fallon

oh...I am so so so sorry, I know how these things can hurt.

side-note: I did move this thread because this story is not up for debate

__________________
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Kaytee

Thank you for sharing your story. Very heart wrenching. I can not imagine the terror you faced and the realization that it can happen to any of us. My sister was also molested by are uncle. But she is not one to share it very often.
I will send you some prayers or healing. Seems you have healed as well as can be expected, but it can never hurt.

__________________

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com

jenilouise

Prayers are always welcome. Thanks for moving it by the way. In my tired it's early in the morning and the baby won't sleep haze I though I put it in general.

__________________

fallon

no problem...I just didn't want anybody to feel free to debate your story, not that they would but ya never know

__________________
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

jenilouise

Very true. It isn't up for debate it's just facts.

__________________

Kaytee

That is what I say as well. If someone wants to pray to Allah for me, well it ain't gonna hurt me! lol

__________________

If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!
http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com

sadinplaid

I was reading the post about talking to children about how to handle these types of situations, and though the advice was all sound, it still made me think back on what happened to me - though not nearly as traumatic as what you had to go through - the thing that worries me being pregnant with a little girl, is how do you teach them to tell you as soon as it happens. I, like you, was threatened into keeping quiet for quite some time, and even though I knew from my parents and school that what my abuser was doing was wrong, I still felt too ashamed to tell them. I see you have 4 little girls, so I know this must concern you as well. What happened to me was on the school bus, so I've vowed my daughter will never ride a bus to school, but how can you protect them every second? I can't even imagine now how it must feel to be a parent finding out that your child was molested and you didn't even know...

jtee

Sadinplaid, were you molested by an adult or and older boy?

sadinplaid

a high schooler on the bus. i was a fifth grader. i know a lot of school systems have the grades split up now, but i also had a very detailed idea of what sex was by the time i was a first grader because of the public school bus... way too much going on with no supervision for my comfort