Parents Forum

Kaytee · 05-30-2008, 11:01 AM

it wasn't somebody, it was no body. Nobody did it!

Ari2 · 05-30-2008, 11:17 AM

My kiddos are way younger than that, of course, MM. But it all sounds pretty normal to me. I still remember desperately needing my mom's attention every time she was on the phone around that age - I just wanted her sole attention and I didn't understand how annoying it is to bother someone who is on the phone.

I think you have a bit of a disadvantage because you can't regularly turn to your partner and say "Take them or I will go nuts", which is IMO a healthy option for 2-parent homes. In our home, we call this the "eject button" (as in "Ok, I'm pressing the eject button. I'll be back in a few minutes"), so we aren't talking directly about how much our cherished, perfect children drive us utterly batty at times.

Hang in there. I think you have a tremendously hard job (I shudder when I try to imagine just raising my twins mainly on my own) and are doing a great job.

<3!

musicmom · 05-30-2008, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OneGiantStep

I don't have kids that age, but it may because you're too harsh.

You said you're at wit's end so likely you've lost your temper with him quite a few times. When you do that, he's going to remember the yelling rather than the principle. You could let him know that the behavior is unacceptable but do it in a respectable manner, a manner that you would like to be talked to; otherwise, yelling is just going to create resentment.

If you have to, use something as leverage, such as allowance or TV privileges, but be fair and consistent. Once the punishment becomes unfair or yelling starts, the child will remember the punishment rather than the lesson.

Yea I do all that and I never lose my temper with him. I don't really yell per se just firm. My children do not get an allowance. I believe they need to do chores and not get paid. It's part of being a family. He learns the lesson because I will explain before the punishment and he will answer.

musicmom · 05-30-2008, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ljmahr

Ok that would be a hard one to figure out, lol. We have had imaginary friends around here but none at the moment. Oh wait someone wrote on the wall mysteriously the other day, does that count?

Our ghosts use the last of the toilet paper and then don't put it back on the roll.

musicmom · 05-30-2008, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari2

My kiddos are way younger than that, of course, MM. But it all sounds pretty normal to me. I still remember desperately needing my mom's attention every time she was on the phone around that age - I just wanted her sole attention and I didn't understand how annoying it is to bother someone who is on the phone.

I think you have a bit of a disadvantage because you can't regularly turn to your partner and say "Take them or I will go nuts", which is IMO a healthy option for 2-parent homes. In our home, we call this the "eject button" (as in "Ok, I'm pressing the eject button. I'll be back in a few minutes"), so we aren't talking directly about how much our cherished, perfect children drive us utterly batty at times.

Hang in there. I think you have a tremendously hard job (I shudder when I try to imagine just raising my twins mainly on my own) and are doing a great job.

<3!

I see that "easy button" commercial and really wish I had one. The sad part it my family knows it's just ME and yet they don't call to say "hey why don't you go do something for the day and I'll spend some time with my neice and nephew" None of them ever had. However my sister gets her husbands baby neice all the time. Nice.

Ari2 · 05-30-2008, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by musicmom

I see that "easy button" commercial and really wish I had one. The sad part it my family knows it's just ME and yet they don't call to say "hey why don't you go do something for the day and I'll spend some time with my neice and nephew" None of them ever had. However my sister gets her husbands baby neice all the time. Nice.

That stinks, MM. They should lend a hand - you have a lot to handle without much help.

My parents try to help out when they can. It's not often because they are really busy and live nearly an hour away, but I appreciate it.

I want an "easy button" too. If I find two on eBay, I'll get them for us.

ljmahr · 05-30-2008, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari2

I want an "easy button" too. If I find two on eBay, I'll get them for us.

Get me one too!

musicmom · 05-30-2008, 05:44 PM

I get first dips! I think if I ever got to sleep in I would wake up with a panick attack wondering why they didn't make any noise. lol

mmynedshlp · 05-30-2008, 06:08 PM

I can recommend you to an awesome book that will cover all the things you you just mentioned.
It gives you ideas and teaches you how to come up with some on your own so they learn to take the blame and that its not mommys fault.
I not only bought the book I took the class and it has done wonders with my family.
( guess what it works with adults too, i am using it on my husband)
The book is Parenting with love and logic. The class is the same thing. Most schools are asking teachers to take it now.
Really I am not trying to advertise but when my S-daughter was that age OH MY she was awful and this class helped us kick it in the rump so we didnt form bad habits.

She brought home her grades and I was like " ooh thats to bad you forgot, I will love you even if you have to repeat your grade or do summer school"
We did trial runs to the grocery store ( i did not plan to buy anything).
I explained what I wanted from her while we were in the store. If she broke it I dropped everything grabbed my purse and we went to the car and went home.
Driving home if she cried and screamed i would pull over and we would not o anywhere until she was done and buckeled again.
Now she is old enough she gets out of the car and walks and i will slowly follow behind her till she has released her steam.

If you give me the problem that bugs you the most we can all come up with some things to make it a consequence of his own actions and mostily its all about how YOU word it to make the child think about it. ( without rubbing in there face or they only look at how you mean you are and not what they did wrong)

Ari2 · 05-30-2008, 06:11 PM

Ok, let me write this down: 3 easy buttons to go, with the first for MM...and I think I'll get a couple of side orders of peace-and-quiet, with some extra-long naps to top it off.

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