Parents Forum

ljmahr · 04-30-2008, 01:25 PM

My 9 yr. old dd is very sensitive. She cries over EVERYTHING! It has been so bad her teacher has even talked to me about it. Her teacher says she doesn't know what to do when she gets like that and just leaves her alone. She cries if someone calls her a name, she cries if she does something wrong and I ask why did you do that in a calm way, the list could go on and on. I have thought about taking her to talk to someone but have no clue who or even what kind of a person (counselor, psychologist). I thought maybe she would just grow out of this but she has done this for several years. Is it normal for a girl to be overly sensitive or should I be concerned? Anyone have any ideas on how I can get her to grow up a little?

Ari2 · 04-30-2008, 01:35 PM

Have you talked to your pediatrician? If it were my child and I wondered whether this was something that needed to be addressed, I would ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician. I would try for that before I would look for a pediatrica psychiatrist. A Dev Ped is (IMO) more likely to take a broad view of your child's overall behavior and functioning, get imput from other assessors (such as speech/language, OT, PT), and provide more options for treatment.

jtee · 04-30-2008, 02:03 PM

Some children are hyper-sensitive and do need help learning to deal life otherwise as they get older than can start to isolate themselves more and more rather than deal with conflict. A lot of kids will learn how on their own, or simply out grow it. I think we all know a few adults who live very isolated lives and clearly have problems, and they too were once children.

Kaytee · 04-30-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ari2

Have you talked to your pediatrician? If it were my child and I wondered whether this was something that needed to be addressed, I would ask for a referral to a developmental pediatrician. I would try for that before I would look for a pediatrica psychiatrist. A Dev Ped is (IMO) more likely to take a broad view of your child's overall behavior and functioning, get imput from other assessors (such as speech/language, OT, PT), and provide more options for treatment.

I do agree you should talk to her doc. You most likely cannot get a developmental doc though. I have two friends, each with a little girl that have varying degrees of problems. One of them is about to be diagnosed with autism and she is on a waiting list for a developementall one that is over a year long!!! There just are not enough docs in this field. I would sugest just talking to the doc and see what they say

LovingFather · 05-07-2008, 10:05 PM

I know what this is like. Having struggled myself as a child I can say that this is not easy to understand. Getting help from an MD, PHD or social worker is excellent advice. I would also consider counseling as an approach to helping your daughter understand her unique sensitivity and how she can apply her sensitivity within her daily life.

I find it surprising that heightened sensitivity is still a mystery to so many. Sensitivity is a powerful gift. It has served me well in all aspects of my life - particularly relationships. What becomes challenging is that the swings between good and bad feelings are extreme and feel totally real to those of us who are more sensitive.

I know from my own experience that feeling secure in my environment and relationships is important. Has anything at school changed recently? Has a family member, teacher or close friend moved? There are some very good books on the subject of raising sensitive children. Search through Amazon using sensitive, spirited, intuitive as keywords.

I am sure it is painful to see your daughter struggle. Please take some comfort in knowing that your daughter will amaze you with her emotional courage and depth.

.:Kalli Rae:. · 05-07-2008, 10:17 PM

Just another avenue....

My sisters and I all started our "monthly" at about that age. Maybe she is having major hormone issues. I know it seems early but it does happen. I have noticed Lily gets really, really emotional sometimes and I am sure she will start hers in the next cpl years.

Good Wolf · 05-07-2008, 10:44 PM

She said that she has been doing this for years so I wouldn't think it would be hormones.

I believe that she may have a bit of a self-esteem problem, and is insecure with herself. She some how needs to have her confidence built up and aside from praising her on a regular basis I honestly don't know how to go about it. It could also be learned behavior. If she 'got out of trouble' or gets extra attention when she is crying this might support the behavior.

What is your reaction when she does it?

I would never take a child to a physiatrist, but have taken my five-year-old daughter to a psychologist. They are two very different fields of medicine. It is my impression that physiatrists focus more on chemical imbalances, and mental disorders so are very quick to prescribe meds, which are in most cases not going to help anything. Psychologists are more oriented towards social dysfunction, and behavioral disorders and actually try to fix the problem rather than cover it up.

Again, that is just from the knowledge. I am by no means seasoned.

.:Kalli Rae:. · 05-07-2008, 10:46 PM

You're right Good Wolf, I read the post but apparently not thoroughly enough.

Disregard my post.

LovingFather · 05-08-2008, 07:22 PM

I had the same concerns about psychiatry for many years. My son has been seeing a psychiatrist for almost a year now. No medications were ever discussed or offered. The counseling is thorough and appropriate for his level of emotional awareness.

My son knows that his mother and I are going to do anything to help him. I feel lucky to have a psychiatrist as another helpful resource for my son. I am sure you could also have similar experiences with other clinicians; PHD, LCSW, etc.

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