marlaw

I just want to say, Sorry that this is so long.....

I have a nine year old daughter. She is a very intelligent child and is very wise beyond her nine years. But she (or we) have a problem, she refuses to sleep in her room because she says she is scared.
I ran across a blog, yesterday, about PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and it stated that children can suffer from this also. And as I read I got to thinking about a couple of different traumatic experiences that have occurred in her young life.
1. On a Saturday morning in May of 2005 at 10:30 a.m. we were in the larger town close to where we live, on a shopping trip, after dropping my older boy, at baseball practice. We were sitting in traffic on a main thoroughfare waiting for the light to turn green. She is in the back seat just obseving the scenery when she asks me this question "MOM, What are those guys doing?" When I looked out the window to see what she was talking about there were 3 men coming out of a cash advance store in masks, carrying guns and cash drawers and bags, they proceeded to jump in a car that was parked in front of the store and the 'getaway' driver sped off. I was, to say the least, stunned. In trying to not scare her I replied that "maybe they are performing a robbery drill". Her reply to me was "they don't even have a license plate on the back"! (I said she was wise beyond her years) All of the people in the cars, where I could see the drivers, all had the same looks on their faces, the look of disbelief. Traffic started moving and she starts yelling to call 911. I never called. We went to the store and after I got there I started second guessing myself, what if someone was shot and killed...those kinds of questions.( later learned that no one was injured)
I was still shook up when we left there 2 hours later to go pick my son up from baseball practice. On the way to pick him up, 2 blocks from the park (in not the best neighborhood) I turned in front of a young black male (I am not predjudice, but so you will understand, the earlier robbery was committed by young, black, males.) I didn't see him, he came out of nowhere. We didn't collide, but it was very close. He had very good reflexes. Anyway, he motioned me to go ahead and make my turn and when I did, he followed me. At this point I was scared to death, after witnessing the earlier incident. And I am sure that my feelings were relayed to my daughter. I made one more turn and there was the park, I parked my car and when I looked in my rearview mirror, he was gone,,,,,,,,,,,then my daughter starts asking "what does he want, what does he want"? I was grabbing my purse to get out of the car and when I turned to open my door, he had pulled up next to my car as close as he could. I just knew I was dead, I could see him pulling a gun a blowing my face off, I was that scared. He rolled his window down and he motioned for me to do the same and then he said....."lady, are you all right. I am sorry, I was driving way to fast" I felt like such a fool. The emotions of that day for me I will never forget but life goes on.....
It is sad that she was in the car with me. When I have to go back to the bigger town she tries to get out of going or says she will go only if we don't go through the bad areas. Take the Interstate around the town to the mall, and that has been 2+ years ago.
2. The 2nd incident involves being witness to the aftermath of a fatal car accident. One year ago on Easter break we were headed back to the town and half way between here and there (a 20 mile trip) I saw a truck parked on the side of he road at an odd angle (from a distance). Not even giving a thought that it was an accident. There were no rescue vehicles at this point. When I got to where the truck was, that is when I saw, and drove through the debris from the wreck in the road. I was driving 60 miles an hour and was not paying any attention to the wreckage, I was trying to keep from getting a flat tire. I pulled over about 1/2 mile down the road and called 911 and told them where the wreck site was, etc... Then I told my daughter that I was going to get out and check the tires and the car to be sure that it was allright. She becomes hysterical and starts screaming at me to not look at the car. When I turn to her in the back seat she is white and she starts crying and I ask her what is wrong? The ever observant 8 year old has seen a bloodied man talking on his cellphone (the driver of the truck)and the young 17 year old girl who was driving the vehicle that the truck had hit , now sitting in the field(she pulled in front of him) was hanging from the wreckage of her vehicle, and what did my nine year old say "I think she is dead". She was correct. I tried to keep it from her. I told her that she was probably hurt bad and had to stay that way until help arrived. I kept it from her for 2 weeks and then one afternoon we were in our local library and she overheard one of the librarians talking about it. A friend of her family. My 9 year old talked about it for weeks and then she stopped, I thought we were done.........................

I think these incidences have traumatized her more than I thought and i don't know what to do for her. Her room is the 1st room at the top of the stairs, she says if the robbers come they will get her first. And sometimes she says she sees that dead girl when she closes her eyes.
Any suggestions?????

fallon

get her help right away, take to her Dr. and have him recommend somebody for her. If you feel she has been traumatized she will need professional help to overcome her fears

Kaytee

I agree please go see someone for her. Also as a side note, next time things like this happen to you, call 9-1-1. What if that was your husband at the cash store, or what if that was your sister hanging from her car. Please stop and try to help as best as you can. If that means holding someones hand till the ambulance gets there, then so be it. You wil show your dd how much compassion you really have

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