softmommy80

My husband and I split up a couple of years ago but lived together a while afterwards as neither of us were ready to date anyone else and we wanted to ease our three year old then into the situation. He didn´t notice anything different except that mommy and daddy slept in different beds.
When I moved out and got my own place, we lived very close to his daddy and it was never a problem for him to stay the night with his daddy. We have never fought over custody, we just did it really casually and let ourselves choose where my son would sleep without fights. My little guy really enjoyed quality time with his dad and with me, he didn´t care where he was.
Now it has been one year since I have moved out of the house and I have been living further away from his father where it isn´t as easy to be casual with custody. I have also moved in with my significant other recently in the last couple of months.
So we have worked out that my DS stays with me on the weekdays while he is in pre-school and his Daddy picks him up on Fridays for the weekend. My son does not want to go stay at his Daddy´s house anymore and makes a big scene at the school when he goes to pick him up. He has even gone to the extreme to say that he is sick on Fridays so he avoids school all together. He spends a little time evryday questioning me what day it is, and now knows that after Thursday it is Friday and he has to go to his Daddy´s.
I feel this horrible pain everytime I drop him off on Fridays knowing that he feels so sad. I don´t know if he is just trying to get his way or because something is happening. I have spoken to his father who always assures me that they spend lots of quality time together and my son seems to be happy when he is there, it is just the initial getting him there that pains me SO!
Sorry this is so long, but has anyone else had the same problems?

Kaytee

hi and welcome to the board.
My first thought on this is to see how he acts when its time to go with dad? Many kids will put up a fight when its time to go see the other parent, but once they are there they have a great time, then they put up a fuss when its time to leave again. More of the change of routine that is upsetting to them

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softmommy80

I have been checking out his behavior on Daddy day, but he acts the same. He works himself up all week to when Friday is when Daddy is picking him up from school and he freaks out before I even drop him off. I am hoping it is just a stage in his life and that he gets over it because it is really har don everyone.

Kaytee

does your ex have a new gf or anything, maybe something like that is upsetting him?

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Trina

How old is your DS?

musicmom

FooserX

Well the kid just went through a split, and now one of his parents is shacking up with another "dad"...and he's being swapped back and forth every week.

Short of repeated animal mutilation...I think anything this kid does is acceptable behavior for a kid going through such a stressful sad time.

:-(

budnkota

It may just be a transition thing. My son was only 2 or so, but he started acting that way for a short while. It went away after only a few weeks. If nothing changes, I think I'd start to worry - but maybe give it a little longer.
He might just be in a state of emotional transition.

debnjerry

It may not have anything at all to do with dad, but more to do with the new living arrangements of you and SO. He may be jealous of the time you two spend together without him and may fear that you will forget about him while he is away at his dad's because you have a new man.

softmommy80

My son is 4 years old. I have been with my SO for a year and a half now and we just moved in together a couple of months ago.
I definitly make sure to give my DS 100% attention when he is with me for the week, but I feel like he maybe feels like home and a family when he is with me and my SO. Then when he is with his father, he does not get as much attention.
I just need advice on how I can help my little guy understand that he is so loved by both of us. I spend the week talking about calling his dad and telling him about the week. I am trying to get my DS to want to share everything with his dad and actually miss him enough to go see him every weekend.