aguacate

A couple of times last week my 4 year old made some comments that threw me off guard. One time we were watching a video. A woman showed up and he said that he wanted to see her without her clothes on. Later on in the week he was frustated about something and my wife was holding him, and he said "Mom, take your clothes off". Is this normal? We want to raise him to be open about sexuality, but at the same time it is very important to respect women. What throws me off guard is the age as I wasn't expecting this for a few more years.

He had a pretty close relationship with his mother before I married her. Don't get me wrong the marriage isn't splitting them apart emotionally but by close I mean they slept together in the same bed. She freely changes in front of him and bathes with him. Not so much anymore but still every once in a while. I thought this was a little odd, given his age, but then again I really know nothing about raising children. Related?

I think I'm going to start a different thread about jealousy issues he has now that I've stepped into the picture...

Kaytee

Well two issues here, the closeness he has with his mom, and his saying innapropriate things. The first you are not retarded! lol a 4 year old sleeping with his mom and bathing is normal. From what I here from other moms, anywhere between 4 and 6 a child starts to gain a sense of self, for lack of a better word. He will begin to want the door closed when he goes potty, he won't want to sleep with mom anymore. 4 is not abnormal at all.
The second ( I have no personal experience so take this for what it is worth) it seems he is just living in his environment. He saw it on a video and now he will do it. It is vvery important at this age to almost shelter him. Don'r let him watch music videos, unless they are christian videos or some country. But even country can get rough sometimes. You know what I mean though. Don't let him watch Jerry Springer (not that you do, just first show that pops into my head. He will soon forget about what he saw, but don't reinforce it. When he says something innapropriate, explain to him that thats just not a nice thing to say. HTH

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happy2bg33k

i wouldn't necessarily see his comments as inappropriate or not appropriate for his age. He's not actually expressing sexual desire as much as he is expressing curiosity. At 4, children start to realize there are differences between girls and boys and are naturally interested in seeing those differences. Our job as parents is to make kids feel as comfortable as possible with sexuality while teaching them the traditional boundaries of society.

tater03

Yes, I have a five year old and at four he was already laughing and commenting on the differences between males and females. That and he wanted to know how babies get into Mommy's stomach. So I think it most likely is just normal. I would explain that if he is curious about something that there is a respectful way to ask someone.