FooserX

That is so sad that a mom would be like that. :-(

Maybe she's just bitter over losing things and this is her way of hurting your husband.

1dayatatime

I seriously wish I knew.

I'm not sure what she has to be bitter about. She cleaned out the checking account, and she took DD and moved out. Thats was going on five years ago.

BTW thanks to all of you for letting me vent my frustrations about this. When DH and I are both at our wits end about DD its hard to get along. You can't vent to your spouse when there right there with you feeling bound.

__________________
Common sense is not so common. -Voltaire
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anthing.

FooserX

Well just because she's the one who left, that doesn't mean she can't be bitter. Maybe she thought things would end up different for her, and now she has to watch you and DH be happy together while she is still alone.

Why did your DH and his ex wife divorce anyway? Why'd she leave? Why is your avatar turning me on?

1dayatatime

Thanks Foos.

DH and mom were never married. I'm not exactly sure why she left. DH can be difficult (moody, strong willed, selfish) but thats true of ALL people. She was abusive to DH so maybe she didn't like that, in her opinion, he was weak. He had a high paying job at the time so work/money wasn't the issue. He is a fantastic dad. He's a loving affectionate patient spouse. It absolutly kills me that she treats him this way.

__________________
Common sense is not so common. -Voltaire
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anthing.

HappyMomma

Ugh! That is just wrong. Why do some people have to put their selfishness and pettiness about their children?

I've made an arrangement with my ex that he is pretty much 'required' to call once per week, but I've also made it clear that he can call as much as he would like.

__________________
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

FooserX

What does the custody time look like? Like when do they each get DD? Does he get to see her each week?

Maybe, since it is doubtful the mom will change, DH could take her to the park before mom gets off work, or stop by in the morning at school to say hi. You know...work with mom's schedule so he can find a way to still spend time with her without having to use the phone.

1dayatatime

Custody before our move was 3 days one week 4 days the next. Since we moved 3hrs away we see DD 1 week a month. That was all mom would agree to untill we go back to court.

I had to laugh at the suggestions you made, not because they are funny but because they are so absurd to our situation. DH is not "allowed" to show up at school without mom having notice. Mom doesn't even want DH to talk to the school. She says it disturbs DD. What can you do in that situation? If DH drops in or has lots of open communication with the school Mom would flip out and DD would lose out on a terrific school. DH does speak to DD teacher about once a month, just to touch base. Mom is unaware of this.

__________________
Common sense is not so common. -Voltaire
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anthing.

budnkota

I got a little lost, but from what I am understanding, this mom is out of line.

I have a similar problem when my son goes to his dad. I expect a phone call each day, but he'll play his little games and not answer and then not call back when he sees I've called. I suggested setting up a time, and he blatantly refused. So I brought the parenting coordinator into it, and it is now a written agreement that at 8 am each time I will not be seeing him that day, I am to get a phone call. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't have a choice. Here, the law directly prohibits a parent interferring with the other's ability to contact their child. unfortunately, it's an easy thing for them to lie about (oh - I didn't have the phone with me... though subpeonaed phone bills show SEVERAL calls made on days he claims to have left the phone behind *SIGH*!)
R is allowed to call his dad anytime he wants. Dad doesn't answer, of course. Yet he CLAIMS he talks to his other kids every day. That is absolutely false (again - I have the phone bills not to mention hysterical laughter from his exwife at the very suggestion), but I am waiting for him to say that at court, because it shows just how much of an idiot he is.

I have a similar problem with the courts, because he's a psychologist, so he puts forth a GREAT image. They seem to overlook the endless lies and contradictions. Just hang in there. Like him, if you give her enough rope, she's eventually going to hang herself (BTW- make sure you document all attempts at calls. Date, time, etc. If the mom has a cell she uses, it's especially easy to obtain a copy of a bill showing that she's taking other calls while refusing yours.

FooserX

Why did you guys move so far away from the kid? Especially when you both work at home?

That's insane that a parent can't spend time with their kid if it doesn't inconvenience the other. That's just using the kid to hurt the other, which is so wrong and mean.

1dayatatime

budnkota, I'm sorry you have crap too. I have been documenting like a crazy person. It's the only way to fight her...on paper. Thank you.

__________________
Common sense is not so common. -Voltaire
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anthing.