gennifurlynn

Looking for advice on how to deal with a tantrum while in public... recently my boyfreinds 5 year old son had one while we were at his company outing and I am wondering if how we handled it was right.

HappyMomma

If I were in that situation, the first thing I would do is remove her. Take her outside or to the car, somewhere away from the other guests. I would then explain that she needed to calm down and behave properly or we would leave immediately.

I think it might also help to know what the tantrum was about. For example, if it was that he wanted to leave then that really wouldn't work. LOL The consequence should fit the situation.

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The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

gennifurlynn

Well he wanted to leave, he thought it was going to rain even though it was a beautiful day. We explained to him that it wasn't and even if it did we would leave. He still wanted to go home, so we said if we go home he'll go to his room for the rest of the day. He said he wanted to go sit in his room. So we went home and he went to his room for 2 hours, and then we let him come out but he was not goign to have any tv before bed and was to play outside. Which he did and was fine with both.

HappyMomma

Hmmm, that's a tough one. He still got what he wanted by throwing the tantrum. I agree with your taking the priveledges away.

__________________
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

gennifurlynn

Yah I didn't want to leave cause that would mean giving in to him, we didn't leave right away but if he wasn't going to enjoy our time there it wasn't worth staying, it was all kids activites.

We found out later that his half brother told him that if he got hit by lightning he would die. Thats why he was afraid of it raining. Of course we have explained to him that he wouldn't die and how to not get hit by lightning etc...

Even after finding that out I stand behind how we handled it, he needs to realize what fears are rational and irrational. I know you can't control what they are afraid of but I think it's more of a lesson that he needs to listen to the adults and know we will take care of him which we made quite clear. It would have been rational for him to be scared if there was gray stormy clouds in the sky, but there wasn't at all. Also he wanted to go play mini golf they had there outside and was all set to do that but we had to eat lunch and sit for a raffle and thats when he started with the tantrum. So i thought it was funny he wasnt scared when he got to do what he wanted but when he didn't he was scared.

HappyMomma

One thing I have learned is that kids do not always say the real reason of why the want to do or not want to do something.

I think they are still learning not only to express their feelings but to decipher what their true feelings are.

__________________
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

gennifurlynn

Yah it's really tough. His mother talked to his doctor and they agreed he has anxiety problems. I think this may be jumping to conclusions... but its not even a conclusions. I think every child has anxiety and that it's normal, now if he had a panic attack and passed out I would say yah he has a problem but I think what hapened was normal. I know his mother has anxiety problems and takes something for them which she could have passed on to him but I also think she may be projecting her anxiety onto him. And if we treat him or react different to these "anxieties" he's not going to know how to handle them when there isn't an adult around.

Dadu2004

It doesn't sound like anxiety problems to me...it sounds like a typical 5 year old! I would've probably reacted the same way you did with the punishment.

Did the punishment seem to work on him? Did he seem like he was being punished, or did he seem like he was happy that he got to leave the outing?

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HappyMomma

Yup, I agree with Dadu2004

__________________
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable.
~Lane Olinghouse

gennifurlynn

He didn't like being in his room after about 20 minutes he realized it was really boring. He cried for a while and even got up a few times. We hoped he would take a nap but that didn't happen. He is such a smart kid. When we were at the outing and I had taken him aside and he really started screaming I told him he would lose his favorite dinosaur if he did not stop. In his own words told me he didn't care cause he knew would get them back. I told him now he wouldn't get them back.