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05-08-2007, 08:40 PM
| #1 | ||
| Junior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 8
Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10  |
hello! i am new to this so please help  my daughter is now 4 and we have alot of trouble with her. she has a very strong temper and we cannot control her. she will go in her room for a time out and she will rip her closet doors off and throw things down the stairs. she will kick, scream, bite and even try to push her friends down the stairs. we went to her pediatician and he suggested a book called 123 majic. i am not finding anything in here that is helping, please help!!!! if you would like to e-mail me it is roxyf@mts.net. stressed out, roxanne | ||
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05-09-2007, 08:19 AM
| #2 | ||
| PF Regular Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 31
Rep Power: 10 Reputation: 17 Children: 2 girls, 10 and 5, brilliant |
Hi. I have never had this problem, but I'll give you my input anyway, because that's the kind of person I am. I know a mom with a special needs child. When the girl was younger the mom made a "safe room" where there was nothing that could hurt the child and nothing important she could damage (of course there were toys and books in the room). That way the mom could take a shower or make an important phone call and know that her girl was safe for a few moments. So, if there is any way you can create an area where there is nothing to break or tear down to use for time outs, perhaps that might be a start. I'd also like to put in my feelings about time outs. I know everyone has different feelings about TOs, but they really worked for me with my 5 year old. When she was younger she had some gnarly tantrums (my 10 year old has had 2 tantrums her entire life—I swear). I would put her in her room and tell her she could come out when she calmed down. Then I would sit down with a cup of tea and a book or a magazine and I would completely tune out the noises coming from the bedroom. The escape that I got from reading helped my own anger and frustration diffuse. Sometimes it went on for a LONG time. Sometimes I had 2 cups of tea and read a whole chapter! If things got quiet in there I might go listen at the door and find that she had started playing quietly. But when my daughter came out, we were both over it and, frankly, I felt refreshed! I was calm and could be loving. We might talk things over or we might just sit down together and read. We got a fresh start. It really helped me through a tough time. I came to look at tantrums as an opportunity for a coffee break. Good luck. | ||
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05-09-2007, 09:46 AM
| #3 | ||
| PF Enthusiast  Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 145
Rep Power: 24 Reputation: 264 |
123 Magic is a good book BEFORE you are having problems with you kiddos. I would recommend the book "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. It has some extremely practical approaches to working with kids with explosive tempers and some suggestions as to why they may be having "meltdowns". | ||
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05-09-2007, 11:55 AM
| #4 | ||
| Junior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 8
Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10 |
thank you all who wrote to me and i will take your advise!!!! i am new (just joined last night) and it is so nice to know that there are people out there that have either gone through the same thing or just willing to help. thanks again. | ||
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05-11-2007, 12:09 PM
| #5 | ||
| PF Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 202
Rep Power: 19 Reputation: 76 |
I had a friend who has a son just like this. One thing she was told to do was to try to wrap her arms around the child until he calmed down. She also had to put him in counsling and the recommended a preschool that deals with children that have these types of problems. I want to say it had something to do with overstimilation. | ||
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05-11-2007, 12:13 PM
| #6 | ||
| Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 7,167
Rep Power: 940 Reputation: 19656  Children: Nichole |
you have been given some great advise, let us know how it goes!
__________________  If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them! http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com | ||
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05-31-2007, 09:05 AM
| #7 | ||
| Junior Member Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 8
Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10 |
thank you all, i have taken her to our doctor and he is recommending therapy just to see if there is anything bothering her that she would not tell us. it seems a little weird to me but i am ready to try anything to get rid of this temper!!!! | ||
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05-31-2007, 11:59 AM
| #8 | ||
| Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 7,167
Rep Power: 940 Reputation: 19656 Children: Nichole |
hey I hope it works for you and for her, she is obviously struggling with somehting
__________________ If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them! http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com | ||
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07-08-2007, 09:35 AM
| #9 | ||
| PF Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 202
Rep Power: 19 Reputation: 76 |
You might be surprised to learn that she could be worried about something and you just never knew because children really don't know how to express themselves alot of the time at that age. Good luck and keep us posted. | ||
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