MNMom

I'm new to this forum, this is my first post. I'm really hoping that there are some of you that can give me advice for my 12 year old son. He is so hard to motivate and doesn't like doing anything physical except for Hockey. He just started a hockey camp but that is only for a week then we'll be back to boredom and sitting around. We have extreme difficulty getting him to do homework, reading, playing games he's turning into a couch potatoe! We started him in band lessons and he already wants to quit after only 3 lessons. We are very frustrated and not sure how to deal with this slump. He's even losing weight because he doesn't have much of an appetite. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Kaytee

He shouldn't be losing weight, that would concern me especially if he is not interested in anything anymore. It just sounds like depression to me, but I have no experince in that matter, so take that for what it is worth.
Have you cecked around for a local hockey rink. My little brother used to play hockey at an ice rink in Indiana, he would also play street hockey on rollar blades, this was not a sporty guy eithr. So maybe look into that. Otherwise have him start playing hockey at the park with another friend, more will come.

Good luck and welcome to the board, hope you stick around

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SageMother

Did this just start or has it been his general personality since birth. It's important to consider this because it might be a disorder linked to hormonal changes.

You might talk to a doctor because it is very unusual for a 12 year old boy to shun food and to have no appetite. It sounds like the motivation issues i are a symptom of something much deeper, and not emotionally based.

TAR

Could be depression. I'm not a doctor but I did go through depression when I was younger. It varys in everyone you should talk to his or a doctor or people at his school. loosing weight (and not eating) is a good sign expecially since he is at that age where boys usually get more husky (ya know before they get taller and fill out). **GET HELP AS SOON AS YOU CAN DON'T WAIT!!! This is a great forum and the people mean so well here, but this is something out of all our hands!! **

dad_of_son

Sorry for your issues. I'm curious, does he play much video games?

MNMom

Thank you all for your reply's. As a matter of fact he got a PS2 for Christmas. We allow him and his brother about 1.5 hours per day on it. I didn't like the idea of getting one but they begged for so long we finally gave in. Do you think that has anything to do with it? He's doing good this week because he is in Hockey camp.

He has started weighing himself with the hope of gaining weight. When I cook I generally cook clean, healthy food that they offen complain about. I hate to think that in order for him to gain weight I have to feed him junk food. I did make French toast with Rasberry flavored coffee creamer, splenda and protein powder for breakfast...he loved it!

We've talked to the doctor about how we feel and he changed his medication. He was diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago, more of AD and not so much HD though. However, since school has been out we haven't had him on meds. since he has no homework or school to have to concentrate on. He says he doesn't like the way it makes him feel so he doesn't want to take them but I wonder if he should? I should probably talk with his doc again.

Sometimes I wonder if I just don't give him enough of my time? I am off work for the summer which allows me to be home with the kids however, I go to the gym every morning before they wake up. I'm training for a National Bodybuilding competition the end of August and I wonder if that has anything to do with his mood. I'm really just thinking out loud, actually in writing, sorry to ramble on. Thanks for your input!

Kaytee

well good luck in your competition!!
As far as feeding him junk food to get him to gain, no you shouldn't do that, you can do healthy fats though, like advocado.

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dad_of_son

My thinking of the video game is that it offers so much stimulation that I wonder if kids are developing in way that thier own imagination/stimulation dies off since it can be provided external by way of video games. 1.5 hours per day doesn't sound all that much - could he be playing at a friends as well? Also TV does the same. Take a look at how long each camera angle stays on the screen vs. what we watched when we were kids (30 yrs ago). You'll notice that each camera angle is on screen at most about 2 seconds. I also think this promotes the AD in children - but I'm not a doctor.

Also, as for the diet, my son is very thin, too much rib cage exposure and 13 yr. At some point they will grow in height and will need the extra weight. There was a book called the fat fallacy or something like that, subtitle why French people are skinny. They don't eat the fat free, or sugar free foods. They eat cheese and bread and meat - no weight problems. I'd stay away from Splenda - actually I'm not sure what you gave him with the toast.

SageMother

Since you lift, wouldn't it be good to help him gain weight by going to the gym with you?

hockeymom23

Is he on any ADHD meds?