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10-08-2008, 08:34 PM
| #1 | ||
| PF Fanatic  Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 251
Rep Power: 73 Reputation: 1674   Children: Megan 21, Dylan 17, Dane 16, Katherine (Cassie) 14, Andrew (Billy) 8, Kaitlyn 8 |
Dane is turning 16 tomorrow (yay) and without going into too much detail...My brother got him a car. Now my brother (Kevin) has MAYBE seen him 16 times in the last 16 years. Kevin made a very huge mistake about 22 years ago and will probably spend the rest of his life in prison. To me this seems completely inappropriate (to give him a car) when he hasnt seen him that much and basically knows nothing about him. I spoke to Kev about it the other day and he apologized. Problem is, Dane knows about the car. We were going to buy him one anyway but he really likes the one kevin got him. Do we let him keep the car? or do we get him the car WE were going to get him. Dane Loves his uncle - and I love my brother - but I think the only reason he bought the car was to show Dane that he isnt a bad person (but he is). I just dont know if we should let him keep the car...something doesnt feel right about it. But then again, if we took away the car that would be sort of punishing him, and he didnt do anything wrong.
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Birthday Gift |
10-08-2008, 08:48 PM
| #2 | ||
| PF Addict  Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Right here. Right now.
Posts: 2,245
Rep Power: 1032 Reputation: 24612 |
That's a tough one bud, I would say regardless of you brother's situation, he is still his uncle and is doing an incredibly nice thing for Dane. I know you don't want him to have it, but as he knows about it, he may feel dissapointed in having the gift taken away simply because of your brother's situation. If it were me, I would let him have the car your brother is giving him, and use the money you were going to spend and put it in a fund to customize it to his liking, maintain it, insure it and possibly a weekly gas fund. Just a thought. Happy Birthday Dane! | ||
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Re: Birthday Gift |
10-08-2008, 08:56 PM
| #3 | ||
| PF Fiend  Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ohio
Posts: 861
Rep Power: 217 Reputation: 4952 Children: 1 boy age 5 and 1 girl age 3 |
This is tough one. I guess I would let Dane keep the car but I would explain the struggle that you had with the decision. I would let him know that you don't want to punish him even though you think that it's inappropriate. It seems like you already straightened everything out with the uncle. This is kind of a lose lose situation if you keep the car it's probably going to bother you but if not Dane might resent you for it. I don't know him so I shouldn't make that assumption.
__________________ Yes! But, you can't just say it, man. You've gotta feel it in you're blood and guts! If you wanna rock, you gotta break the rules. You gotta get mad at the man! And right now, I'm the man. That's right, I'm the man, and who's got the guts to tell me off? Huh? Who's gonna tell me off? | ||
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10-08-2008, 10:31 PM
| #4 | ||
| PF Fanatic Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 251
Rep Power: 73 Reputation: 1674 Children: Megan 21, Dylan 17, Dane 16, Katherine (Cassie) 14, Andrew (Billy) 8, Kaitlyn 8 |
No Phil your right, if we take it away he will resent me. But I like Musicdad's idea about a weekly gas fund and stuff like that...Gas is expensive.
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10-09-2008, 06:16 AM
| #5 | ||
| PF Addict  Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cleveland, OH
Posts: 1,033
Rep Power: 887 Reputation: 21599 Children: Delaney, 4 years old |
Yeah, I'll follow suit here. The issue here is with the brother, not your son. I think taking the car away will inadvertantly be punishing Dane. I would let him keep it.
__________________ ----Proud Papa of Delaney Maria, my angel------  | ||
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10-09-2008, 06:39 AM
| #6 | |||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,462
Rep Power: 1353 Reputation: 30899 Children: 2 children, Debra Lyn, and Logan (Bubba) Michael |
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__________________  Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult | |||
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10-09-2008, 08:13 AM
| #7 | |||
| PF Fanatic  Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: melba, Idaho
Posts: 222
Rep Power: 177 Reputation: 4270 Children: Son(17),DD(16),Son(16),DD(15),Son(7), DD(4),Son(2 years) |
Quote:
This was my exact thought when I read your post. I third this suggestion.
__________________  Jennifer, mom to some wonderful kids! | |||
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10-09-2008, 12:56 PM
| #8 | ||
| PF Fiend  Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Erie, PA
Posts: 732
Rep Power: 443 Reputation: 10620 Children: A one year old boy, Eli. |
I don't have time to explain, but I just wanted to say that I'd let him keep it. He should know that the things someone buys you doesn't tell you whether they are a good or bad person, and I'm sure you can explain that to him. 
__________________  Looking Christmas-ee cute. :p | ||
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