Parents Forum

Jackson P. · 04-06-2008, 12:30 PM

Im a highschool student preparing a research report for my human growth and development class. This question is the basis of my thesis. And thought i'd ask parents there opinion on the matter.

"Is the encouragement students going as couples to highschool prom's healthy?"

Its based around the encouragement of couples attending prom through selling tickets at discounted prices to couples. And the general expectations and pressures that surround school social events, perpetuated by the promotion of attending as "couples." And wether this trend is healthy for a teen/students development, not to mention healthy for academics.

I'm asking what you as parents think about this, do the pressure to attend prom or other school events as couples put unhealthy strain on a teen? and does that negatively affect there academic and social development?

(I myself am all for school based social events, however am observing some... stress amongst peers when it comes to our schools prom, which is coming up soon. And am wondering if some small changes in the events promotion and reputation could alleviate most of the stress and strain im observing, and experiencing myself, to a degree.)

Thanks!

jtee · 04-06-2008, 12:52 PM

Interesting question. I remember when I was just out of high school and in college when a friend's younger sister asked me to go to the prom with her. I am not certain what motivated her to ask me specifically other I was a safe choice. I know she wanted to go to the prom so maybe it was easier to go with a platonic friend and just have fun. I did go and we had fun.

I know a lot of kids that are not part of popular crowd tend to avoid proms and girls who might like to go, but don't get asked, stay home on prom night.

FooserX · 04-06-2008, 04:11 PM

>>>>"Is the encouragement students going as couples to highschool prom's healthy?"

What social aspects of High School ARE healthy?

You got bullying...
gossiping...
backstabbing...
cliques...
sex...
alcohol...
etc...

I'm sure students would feel the same pressures...prom couple discount or not.

Kaytee · 04-06-2008, 04:33 PM

I agree actually. (with Fooser that is)
I remember being nervous about having a date for the prom, but lucky for me I had a bf when the time came so it wasn't an issue. I do know that mopst of the kids that went to my prom went with friends. So yes they were couples in the sense they went together, but they went as friends so there was no pressure for them

Teresa · 04-07-2008, 04:52 AM

I've never really seen any pressure for teens to attend prom as couples. When I was in high school, I went both years with a group of female friends who didn't have dates, and we had a great time. The fact that tickets are discounted for a couple was never a factor...it's only $2-$5 difference.

However, I have to say that I also agree with Fooser. The teen years are HARD, all around.

Claire64 · 04-07-2008, 10:20 AM

My son and his friends are getting ready for prom, and they all have dates. I don't think they were pressured into going as a couple, but it is expected that you go with someone.

My son is going with his girlfriend (she's a senior), but a lot of his friends are going with friends.

budnkota · 04-07-2008, 07:18 PM

it was about 15 years ago, but when I was in HS, you HAD to go in pairs. I think they even said male-female pairs, but I'm not positive.

I don't think it should be that way, because that's a big part of high school memories for many, and those who don't have a date should not be left out. It's also ironic since so many schools lay the smack down when it comes to PDA - and then turn around and completely contradict themselves!

AnKsMommy · 04-08-2008, 08:09 AM

I was in high school not to long ago (2003) and if you went with a date that was fine, but if you didn't that was cool too. I never heard of anyone getting a hard time because they didn't have a date, not from teachers, parents, or even other students.

I don't understand the discounts either and after reading a post think that it's messed up that you HAD to go as a couple *male/female* to the prom. The year I graduated, I went with close friend of mine to his a year later and they had their FIRST female/female prom date couple. People were taking pictures of them slow dancing and said horrible things to them. ....this is in West Virginia though...and I had already been in the Navy for almost a year.

Either way...high school is hard enough. I think that if I would have went to the prom single my mom would have said something like, "WHAT? No boy want to take you to prom? What wrong with you?" And yes...it would sound like that because my mom is Filipina and speaks the broken English. I see it happening, but it's just on such a lower scale compared to everything else that happens in high school.

Sorry, I wrote a novel lol.

ljmahr · 04-13-2008, 04:10 PM

We didn't have any pressures going to prom as couple either. I only went my senior yr. and then I was talked into it by a bunch of friends a week before. Talk about crazy! There was about 15 of us. There were 2 girls that had dates that went with us but we all hung out and had fun. No presure, no stress. Except for trying to find a dress a week before prom, lol.

Shari Nielsen · 04-13-2008, 06:49 PM

As a high school teacher, I have chaperoned many school dances. Although a lot of kids do go as official couples, many just go as friends. It is also very common for kids to go as same sex friends and it is not looked down upon by anyone.

Peer pressure is tough on teens and if that can be alleviated by letting anyone go to the dance - single, w/ a friend - male or female, or a boy/girlfriend, then I'm all for it. I hate to hear that kids didn't get to go to the prom just b/c they didn't have a "traditional date".

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