AshleysMom

I adore my 14 yr old mouthy but beautiful and intelligent daughter (most days) It is really beginning to get under my skin her constant disrespect of my hubby and I. Just today she was angry because she wanted yet another favor from Mommy who she treats like an Indentured Servant. She wanted me to drive her to the movies with a friend my daughter was paying with her own money. Reluctantly I agreed even though I didn't want to because she has me to where I do not want to do extra for her due to her Venomous Mouth!

The movie thing didn't work out none of her friends could go earlier. Now she wants to go to the Harry Potter Midnight Madness Event at the Movie Theatre. I asked are any parents going to present since it is STARTING AT 12AM??? She didn't know, so I said No! She feels she is 14 and should be allowed to do everything and anything. Slowwwwwwwww down girl. In due time.

Kaytee

teenagers!!!!! I hope we skip that age, Nichole is going to go from 10 to 23, and skip all the mouthy stage. lol then again 5 year talk back too.!!! Good luck. I would say that you should give her a warning of if she doesn't stop the attitude, then she can't do anything. And no I would let my 14 year old go anywhere at midnight without an adult.

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AshleysMom

Thanks for the input Kaytee:
All I do is warn her all day and night. It's gotten to the point where everything that comes out of her mouth is mean and nasty. She has me to the brink of tears. She makes me feel as if we don't have enough money for her. "I can't possibly have friends over, because we don't even have a pool" "Since when do you ever pay for me to go to the movies" Got to the point that when we are out at a store if she yells at me or degrades me..........I calmly wait for her to finish in the dressing room and then say "Let's go". We leave without her getting the items we came for.

Hopefully your Nichole won't go through this but I wouldn't count on it

Kaytee

lol I can always hope

I do hope that you know this is not personal. Teenagers are just mean. I would say that leaving the store when she is being that way is great. Also if she is mouthy, well then she can't go to the movies. Again I don't have any btdt experience, so who knows if what I say is worth anything.

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Anna78

I remember when I was 14, I was so damn disrespectful to my parents. Granted my mum wasn't the greatest (she told me when I was 9 she only ever wanted boys). But no way would I let my kids at 14 go to the movies at 12am on their own! Good job for saying no, it sounds like you're handling her really well, just grin and bear it, one day she'll look back and thank you lol

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Anna, 30, married to Barry, 31, since 06/01/07, Mummy to:

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dad_of_son

AshleysMom,

I feel for you. Our 13yr old son is similar - very similar.
Try reading a book titled: "Get out of my life -- now can you take me to that mall" - a parents guide to today's teenagers. To help get through it, i'd suggest posting here - there are a number of very compasionate people here that will give your praise and support.

FooserX

>>>All I do is warn her all day and night.

There's your problem right there - stop with the warnings, and lay down the law! What would criminals do if cops busted them with a warning, and then let them go....and caught them again, and just gave another warning, and another....and another?


>>>>It's gotten to the point where everything that comes out of her mouth is mean and nasty. She has me to the brink of tears.

Whose fault is that? She knows exactly how to push your buttons to get her way...I'm sure this isn't a teenage thing either - it's been learned. Stop allowing her to be disrespectful, and end it. All it takes is a spine and consistency.

You don't even have to be mean back, just say "I'm sorry, but you just got grounded for a week with that disrespectful attitude. Care to make it 2?" When she argues more, give her 2, and ask her about 3? After she relizes that being mean and nasty won't get you to cave in...she'll be pissy for 3 or 4 weeks, and after she has her privliges back, she'll be a new girl. :-)

The key is YOU being the parent and not allowing that. Why would you even want your kid to be like that?

fallon

hang in there. I'm sure you are doing the right thing. I know when I was that age I wasn't very nice to my mom. I think it's hard being a 14 year old girl but I'm sure it's even harder being the mother of one.(I'll find out in 10 years ) It seems the only person to take out all that 14 year old anger on is mom. That doesn't seem fair but I guess it comes with the job huh. Keep your head up. She'll regret her actions one day

pjc2809

Please don't make the same mistakes I made! I gave into my daughter too much "because I loved her" and she was an A/B student. I never followed through with punishment...and now I am paying the ultimate punishment now with her and she is 18! She is soooooooo disrespectful, it's horrifying. Just last year we had to send her to boot camp. Please don't allow your daugher to rule you...you need to take charge now, before it's too late. Don't care what her "friends" are doing...you can only control her now at 14...but not when shes 17 and 18!

iahayah

I think the times you have a kid stay out for should depend on both the event, and your trust in them. Speaking frankly, a Harry Potter Midnight Madness event is probably not all that dangerous-- think 8-year-olds dressing up in wizarding clothing. Parents are probably there in great supply.

Has she done anything to betray your trust in a similar situation? Being mouthy, while bothersome, doesn't mean she can't be trusted to act responsibly. A lot of her mouthyness probably comes from her impression that you treat her unfairly. If she has lied to you or gone against the rules when going out with her friends at night, then by all means, feel justified in not letting her go. But punishing her for talking back by acting like you don't trust her may just make the problem worse.

Remember, teens don't act mouthy to be mean to you. You probably perceive talking back as an action to hurt you. Bu teens generally take it a situation at a time- talking back is usually, in their mind, just talking. If they talk in an angry or negative way, it is because they feel angry, and are defending themselves in response to whatever you said/did.