Parents Forum

Steve · 03-12-2008, 08:07 AM

Ya think so? Well, maybe I can use the phrase to lighten the atmosphere around here. In the last 2 weeks he's given us S**t in a Bag and S**t in a box. At least the packaging is improving, huh?

musicmom · 03-12-2008, 08:08 AM

Once you "label" a child as bad or hopless or anything like that it is IMPOSSIBLE for the child to just turn around and change. Sounds like he needs a chance. If you were to send him somewhere healthy maybe...........he can come back and be someone new.
He is doing exactly what you expect. I wouldn't build no fkn barn either! lol

musicmom · 03-12-2008, 08:10 AM

lol, too bad you couldn't buy a potty chair and give it to him. I am totally kidding that would so make matters worse.

meow_173 · 03-12-2008, 08:10 AM

Yea, but its his attitude. There are a million other ways he could have told his step dad that he didn't want to help, but he chose to be aggressive. Are the girls like this as well?

FooserX · 03-12-2008, 08:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve

Yeah, that's kinda the attitude. When I married Jan, only her (now 17 yr old) daughter lived with us.

Since then, we rescued the boy. And her other daughter, now 18, also moved in (there must be something good about this home!) and is now pregnant, unmarried, sans diploma or GED or job, and dumb as rocks. And now a really weird girlfriend of hers (22 yrs old, no job, etc.) also seems to have moved in. I didn't add another bed or anything - she's just "here." And with everyone's approval but mine.

The "wait it out" scenario gets longer and longer and weirder. I love my wife but I can't pit her against the kids. So there she is defending S**t in a Box.

lol...the fact she's letting all these people move back in says that she is not a strong parent. She's only encouraging them to be this way.

Like I said before - nothing is going to change. I'm sure you've talked to her about it, and obviously she's not going to change...so not much you can do.

There's no magic advice for situations like this is the parties involved don't want to change :-)

Amber · 03-12-2008, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve

Yeah, you're right. I bought him a bike that he ruined and isn't interested in taking to the bike shop for fixing. We gave him a skateboard - still in the cellar. I offered plastic models, model rockets, scouting, baseball, basketball, track, and on and on. Loves his IPod but not interested in learning to play anything.

Told him last year he could help me build my new barn. "I ain't building no f***ing barn" was the instant reply. Doesn't want to help cut or split wood, shovel snow, even play with the cats & dogs.
.

What kind of stuff does HE want to do? You need to find out something he'd enjoy doing and do it with him, not stuff you want him to do. Perhaps when you've found that thing, the chance of opening up the lines of communication will increase a bit.

Don't hold your breath expecting an overnight change because you'll suffocate to death. It's going to take some time. And, it's a strong possibility that it might not happen in the next year.

musicmom · 03-12-2008, 08:13 AM

A strong willed child isn't like any other child. We don't know the situation in their home so the kid might have thought he could talk that way. He didn't learn it from PBS

meow_173 · 03-12-2008, 08:15 AM

NO, he's most likely a) frustrated that there is someone other than his dad trying to BE his dad b) the youngest, so he's either always been this way, and never had to do anything c) The age that he is at, alot of boys become this way.

Amber · 03-12-2008, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve

I won't yield on the authority issue and he's resentful. The greatest peace is when we don't communicate, so we don't. He gets nothing from me. Denied family vacation last year to Branson, and this year he's not going to Disney World - probably the only chance he'll ever have.

I think this was a bad choice. Don't you think that by excluding him on family vacation, you perhaps could have increased his feelings of not being part of the family? Grounding him from the Playstation or from going to his friends is one thing...family vacation is another. Just my opinion, though.

musicmom · 03-12-2008, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meow_173

NO, he's most likely a) frustrated that there is someone other than his dad trying to BE his dad b) the youngest, so he's either always been this way, and never had to do anything c) The age that he is at, alot of boys become this way.

You get respect when you give respect. It sounds like there is lack of respect on both ends. Its' not just boys. I was this way with my mother (didn't poo in boxes though) but I just didn't want anyone who was authoritary near me. The harder anyone tried the further I got.
I loved my friends, that's what made ME happy.
Does your son have friends?

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