Parents Forum

Steve · 03-12-2008, 08:18 AM

Ooooh, a potty chair! Excellent suggestion! I may make it too if this gets too heated again today.

Jan's glad to have the children move in. She was a single parent with 2 deadbeat dads (side note: there are a lot of irresponsible men in this world). She's quite glad, as a mom, that all her kids choose to live with her now. Given the other relatives, she is the best choice.

Strong mom in some ways but not in all. But none of us has "it all".

Steve · 03-12-2008, 08:19 AM

OK, if'n ya'll are going to be such nice people, I'll suggest we stay here, not General.

musicmom · 03-12-2008, 08:20 AM

We're nice???????? That's a first. Woo hoo *hands out cookies*

meow_173 · 03-12-2008, 08:20 AM

Oh i totally agree that on needs to earn respect before he gets it. But i think he needs to find out why he isn't getting it. The kid is lashing out for some reason

musicmom · 03-12-2008, 08:21 AM

Because the dad doesn't respect him! Not the other way around. Oddly enough, the child has to think he has it first.

meow_173 · 03-12-2008, 08:23 AM

Just because there is no communication doesn't mean "Steve" Isn't giving him respect. He's tried to reach out to him (as seen in other posts) but nothing is helping. So he has tried, but with no appeal from the step son.

meow_173 · 03-12-2008, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steve

Long & complicated. He was raised 'til age 12 by his cretin of a Dad. I picked him out of the bushes by the roadside hiding from his Dad. Boy has no respect for authority including mine and seldom Mom's. He's 140 lbs, is failing freshman HS, and thinks so little of others / much of himself that he's even punched me. I'm 6'4" 280 lb former power lifter.

I won't yield on the authority issue and he's resentful. The greatest peace is when we don't communicate, so we don't. He gets nothing from me. Denied family vacation last year to Branson, and this year he's not going to Disney World - probably the only chance he'll ever have.

I'm not a great parent by any means. And mom's saying that the whole shoebox incident is a result of this wider problem. In great part she's right but you can't address everything all at once; that's why I needed to ask about something very specific and tried to keep my question narrow.

Thanks. Just discussing this makes me relax a bit.

- Steve

Have you thought about a counseller?

Steve · 03-12-2008, 08:24 AM

Amber - I agree. Find him stuff he wants to do, not me.

Given any three-day weekend from school, he'll do nothing but sit on the couch and watch Maury, Springer, hip-hop shows (he's 100% white boy) and, if allowed, play forever on MySpace. Mom will even tell him to "go play" and he's stumped for anything to do. He never says "Ooh, I'd like to do XYZ".

Yeah, label a child lazy and a loser and they'll meet the expectations. I know that.

Probably sounds normal, but combined with complete anger, disrespect, foul language, abusive behavior it's not normal - it's a problem.

FooserX · 03-12-2008, 08:24 AM

Your wife does seem nice, but letting deadbeats move in, and not backing up her husband...eh...doesn't seem like good parenting to me.

musicmom · 03-12-2008, 08:26 AM

Do you know Steve? No one knows what exactly goes on in their home. A child doesn't lash out for NO reason.
If I was this kid and some weight lifting step dad guy starting giving me crap I would probably be defensive too.
It depends on how Steve is asking. This kid may not want someone to come in. He probaby doesn't trust anyone and especially some big arse guy that walks in and plays daddy.
It's neither of their faults just happens. But that's my opinion

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