Parents Forum

musicmom · 12-19-2007, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chefrick

I said it was a contributor (in some cases), I assumed it would be inferred that over-sheltered children aren't the only reason for ADD/ADHD. There are genetic predispositions and/or other environmenal issues that cause it as well. These issues can certainly be mutualy exclusive to being overly sheltered as a child. I have already made my opinion known on ADD/ADHD in the ADD/ADHD thread.

Where are you getting your statistic from? Just curious. It doesn't even make sense that an over sheltered child would get adhd. That's absurd.
You shouldn't ASSUME such nonsense.

Kaytee · 12-19-2007, 06:08 PM

calm down both of you and stick to the thread topic

Aunt · 12-20-2007, 01:22 AM

I can see the argument for saying being too protective would not help a kid with ADD. Though i tend to be one of those cynics who believes it is way overdiagnosed. I also feel saddened that kids are less free to just roam about a bit. There is undoubtedly an obesity epidemic which could so easily be addressed with a little more exercise and unstructured play. As to kids staying home into adulthood, because I have an ethnic background this is not so foreign to me. When I visited the relatives in Italy in my 20s some of their adult kids lived at home though they were working. But it cuts both ways and is reciprocated for ageing parents.
On the whole original post i really do struggle with where to draw the line. On one hand I feel like i have a gut instinct for a reason but on the other it would be unwise to take this position every time I thought a parent was not my kind of person. Foozer and Kytee are not entirely wrong i guess (though if a kid is old enough to have breasts dad wrestling still looks a little odd from where i sit) but then something feels just not right.

Kaytee · 12-20-2007, 06:58 AM

Follow your instict then. If God forbid something did happen there, you would never let yourself get over that.

musicmom · 12-20-2007, 11:11 AM

Yea, I thought pretending to be a mother of three would be beneficial to me....Uhhhhh ok. Your Aunt and Brother need to take a look at you! Mind you, maybe they have a PhD which you do not. If either of them honestly think overprotecting a child contributes at all to them having adhd then please post the information here.
If you are feeling my "pride" then maybe you are intimidated? As far as being a troll is that all you could come up with?? You can't even stick to the topic because your feelings are hurt because you are WRONG.

Quote:

Originally Posted by chefrick

Where it comes to the issue of ADD/ADHD my take is the correct one given the knowledge we have in todays world. Where do I get my facts?? From a Brother and Aunt who both have a PHD in Psychology. One of which(Aunt) is an actual child Psychologist. If you wish to read what I said in the thread, then please feel free to do so. Maybe you will learn a little something, or maybe your silly pride will not allow it and you will once again resort to the useless insults with which you seemingly cant help to engage in.

Here is where I will walk on eggshells....A lot of the regulars on this forum see you as a troll and disingenuous in your alleged roll as a 36 y/o mother of three. If for nothing else due to the nature of your posts. Perhaps you should take a look and wonder why this is the case and become a more productive member.

musicmom · 12-20-2007, 11:12 AM

I agree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaytee

Follow your instict then. If God forbid something did happen there, you would never let yourself get over that.

unmanaged · 01-26-2008, 10:34 PM

Look, I would usually go with my gut, but it is unfair to say that somebody is a pedophile because there is something weird about him. I would say if you are REALLY worried don't, but that in the end there probably won't be anything wrong with him, and just because he wrestled with his daughter or whatever, isn't a good reason to call the cops. In the end though, it is your child, and you better feel ok about where she is going.

Illumination · 01-28-2008, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aunt

She is 11. Nearly 12. As she keeps reminding me when I express and "ill think about it" sort of doubt LOL. I have checked the sex offender registry and nothing has turned up so i suppose it is solely a possibly unfair gut instinct.
You are right foozer it is more a feeling than anything reasonable. It is not so much that he is mean or rude. In fact the poor guy is pleasant enough but a little creepy.
For instance he was perfectly convivial when I picked my niece up from their place after she had been just hanging out there during the day but he and their older girl (abut 15 or 16 id guess) were play wrestling. There was nothing suggestive about it but usually when a girl is that old fathers may hug them but wrestling? For the dads out there am i being unreasonable in being a bit put off by this? it was not like she was a 9 year old tom boy

You actually checked the sex offender registry? If he was in a sex offender registry, do you really think he would still be walking the streets?
Yes, I do think you're being a bit unreasonable. Play wrestling sounds pretty innocent to me.
Honestly, I think the most legitimate reason you have is your gut feeling, but I would definitely not worry about it. Some people in the world will give you strange feelings. That's just how it works.

JeanM · 03-16-2008, 11:29 PM

i think that it is a delicate balance between the two.
its really hard to find it but then we all have just to go thru trial and error and calibrate.

aliinnc · 03-19-2008, 07:01 AM

There is a great book by Gavin DeBecker (hope I'm remembering that correctly) called Protecting the Gift. It is about personal safety for your children. The author has interviewed scads of people who have been victims of violent crime. A really high percentage of them had had a bad feeling/vibe before they were attacked.

The author makes a major point about listening to that inner voice. We had a slightly similar problem when my DD was about the same age. At least it's similar because I didn't want my DD to spend the night with this one friend...

One of her best friends was this really sweet kid, and I went to the family's house for her birthday party. OMG - total lack of supervision. Kids were riding bikes down the sidewalk and straight onto the street (a city street lined with parked cars so you couldn't see if a car was coming), climbing a rusty barbed wire fence, and jumping off it right beside broken glass bottles, and walking unsupervised to a local grocery that was a known crack hangout and the site of multiple shootings. (Yes, the family was poor and lived in a bad neighborhood.) The mom said to me, "I don't like them to walk to the grocery, but they keep doing it." Evidently she'd never heard the word NO.

Well I explained to my daughter that I didn't feel they had the same safety expectations that we did, and I wasn't comfortable with her spending the night with them. BUT her friend was welcome at our house any time. Which meant I had to pick her up and deliver her home every time as her parents worked two jobs. LOL.

But it worked. Maybe an approach like this would work with your problem.

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