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12-18-2007, 05:30 AM
| #1 | ||
| PF Enthusiast Join Date: Nov 2007
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My niece wants to stay at a friend's house and something about the girl's dad gives me the creeps. The kid in question is lovely and her mother seems ok but I can't put my finger on what I don't like about the dad. I certainly don't think that it is a good idea to site this as a reason when saying no because there is no proof of anything at all untoward, I just don't feel comfortable with him. It turns out that this weekend we have to go to a family xmas thing so we compromised and she can bring her friend with us. But sooner or later this will come up again. In future, should I let her go secure in the knowledge that the mom is there or should I say no? or am I being grossly unfair to this man when all I have to go on is my own feelings? If I do say no what do I tell her. I am not great with the whole no thing yet but then there have been no truly unreasonable requests. | ||
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Should I be a little more protective? |
12-18-2007, 06:46 AM
| #2 | ||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 7,167
Rep Power: 940 Reputation: 19656 Children: Nichole |
How old is your niece again? 11? I would have to agree with Rick. I am not overly protective but I do have limits (heck my kid has never spent the night without me and I have only left her a dozen times for no more then a few hours and typically when she is asleep lol) BUT if you feel something is off, then I wouldn't let her go. You will have to good at convincing her that she doesn't want to though lol, if they ask to go the the friends house, convince them to stay at yours or to go to the mall, and so on. I would think follow your instincts
__________________  If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them! http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com | ||
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12-18-2007, 07:03 AM
| #3 | ||
| PF Addict  Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Denver
Posts: 2,570
Rep Power: 388 Reputation: 8215 Children: One boy, Bradley |
I like Chef's post, but I really think you ought to look harder at what it is about this guy that you don't like. Some people seem rude, or mean...but when you get to know them, they are really likeable. Maybe you just haven't given him a fair shake. | ||
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12-18-2007, 07:08 AM
| #4 | ||
| PF Enthusiast Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 162
Rep Power: 148 Reputation: 3464 |
She is 11. Nearly 12. As she keeps reminding me when I express and "ill think about it" sort of doubt LOL. I have checked the sex offender registry and nothing has turned up so i suppose it is solely a possibly unfair gut instinct. You are right foozer it is more a feeling than anything reasonable. It is not so much that he is mean or rude. In fact the poor guy is pleasant enough but a little creepy. For instance he was perfectly convivial when I picked my niece up from their place after she had been just hanging out there during the day but he and their older girl (abut 15 or 16 id guess) were play wrestling. There was nothing suggestive about it but usually when a girl is that old fathers may hug them but wrestling? For the dads out there am i being unreasonable in being a bit put off by this? it was not like she was a 9 year old tom boy Last edited by Aunt : 12-18-2007 at 07:20 AM. Reason: repeat of what i wrote already | ||
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12-18-2007, 09:10 AM
| #5 | ||
| PF Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Denver
Posts: 2,570
Rep Power: 388 Reputation: 8215 Children: One boy, Bradley |
So a dad was wrestling with his daughter who was 15 or 16? lol... Call the cops! :-P If he was abusing his kid, I'm sure the daughter wouldn't have wanted to be near him, much less have fun wrestling with him. No? It's not like he was wrestling with other girls...just his daughter. | ||
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12-18-2007, 09:23 AM
| #6 | ||
| Super Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 7,167
Rep Power: 940 Reputation: 19656 Children: Nichole |
I agree, some daughters are very athletic and enjoy doing things like this.
__________________ If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them! http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com | ||
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12-18-2007, 11:34 AM
| #7 | ||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,461
Rep Power: 1353 Reputation: 30899 Children: 2 children, Debra Lyn, and Logan (Bubba) Michael |
I find myself feeling a creepy vibe from a lot of people but for the most part they are very nice just a little weird...lol but I agree with the others, if there was anything really off about this guy his 15 yr old dd wouldn't be playing with him like that.
__________________  Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult | ||
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12-18-2007, 01:23 PM
| #8 | ||
| Banned Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,914
Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 25505 Children: One boy 8, twin girls 7. |
I know when I was around 12 that friends fathers were really odd. One even gave us alcohol and started talking about sex and he wasn't on record as a pedophile. I would go with your gut. Gawd forbid anything happen that you can't take back. | ||
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12-19-2007, 01:22 AM
| #9 | ||
| PF Enthusiast Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 162
Rep Power: 148 Reputation: 3464 |
Well music mom in fairness I doubt he is giving the kids alcohol. They are some sort of evangelical christians that tend to frown on drinking. He is probably horrified by the 1/2 bottle of white in my fridge. But the gut feeling you describe is what i am feeling and the idea that it is too late to fix things after something happens. Even if it is totally unfair. | ||
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