Momof12

I went through most of the replies and you got some great
advice for people who have walked down this road with raising Teens. Now for me I have a 26,23,21,19, and soon to be 16 year old.
For me and DH drinking, is never allowed or Ok for our children younger than 21.Now way before they are allowed to even think about it or be tempted they get the Mom & Dad talk. Normally it is me, DH has been gone most of thier lives ( due to Navy life)

There is this saying "As parents We are Our Childrens first Teachers in life and learning skills" Or "Practice what you preach" Having a Daughter who is in her Second year of College who graduated with Honors at High School and her first year ar UCI she made the Deans list I was so worried I, one night, asked her "Alisha when you go to these parties do you drink?" Praying I hear the right words out of her mouth. She looked me and I am not sure if any of you know this ( I think if you know your children well you know when they are lying) "Mom" she said, "remember when when I asked to taste your wine, and you allowed me to sip it on New Years Eve," I said "yes" she said "Mom I thought I would get sick, I never tasted anything more gross or that stinked!!" I was so relieved, she said "besides Mom do you think I worked this hard to blow it all away!!" I will say I was so Happy I cried,and hugged her and said "when will you grow up?" LOL!!

Sometimes you have to lay down those stones to the path you want them to follow and just pray they follow the right road.

meow_173

Well, so long as its a controlled environment, and not overly excessive then its not that bad, especially for the 18 year old, seeing in canada the legal age is 19.

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TammyZed

My son has always been allowed sips of alcohol. When he turned sixteen he was allowed a glass with dinner on holidays or family gatherings. He's honest when he drinks with friends, letting me know beforehand where he'll be and who he'll be with so that I don't worry about him getting into a car with someone drunk. If he drinks at home, he knows that he's not allowed to go out until the next morning. I only allow his of-age friends to drink on the property, and they're under the same stipulation. Unless they get picked up by their parent or a cab, I'll find somewhere for them to sleep!

I've found that honesty and trust has been the best policy with Morgan.

Then again, I've never found alcohol to be a very big deal. In moderation, drinking responsibly is okay.

oldmothertobe

I've always told my two teens that I don't want them drinking, but I also know that there is a chance they might. We've talked about it a lot actually though out the years. I told them both that even though I don't want them drinking, if they do to call me from the place they have drank at. I've never really had any problems with them drinking but one night my daughter Hannah did do to a party and drink, a lot. But she called me, just as I had told them to do. She told me that she had gone to a party for the end of the school year and needed me to come get her.
I was angry that she hadn't told me that the friends house she was going to was having a party, but I was proud she called me. I guess the friends parents were out of town and she decided to throw a party. I knew Hannah was going to that friends house, but nothing else. Hannah's curfew on weekend nights is midnight and she had just said she was going over to her friends and would be back by midnight. It was eleven-thirty when she called.
I often check now to make sure. Hannah seems to realize that I was upset she hadn't told me the full story about the party so now she actually asks permission to go to one. It's happened two times and I said no, I really don't want her drinking.
I'm nervous Jake won't be as responsible as his sister though because sometimes I hear him teasing her about it. He is fifteen, so he is at the age he will want to drink as well.

teenager17

I applaud TammyZed, i think that is the right approach.

Claire64

To answer you honestly, I know that my 16 year old drinks with his friends, but I will not allow him to drink in the house until he is legal.

I have caught Ryan a couple of times and each time it was when he got home (after taking a cab) and was still drunk. Each time, he's had the same punishment, he's not allowed to drive his car for a week and he's grounded the next weekend.

We have talked with him about not drinking and driving, or getting in a car with someone who had been drinking. Also, last summer one of his friends got alcohol poisoning and they had to call his parents to take him to the hospital. That really got the point across to Ryan that drinking heavily is very dangerous and he told my husband that he only drinks beer now.

aliinnc

Somewhere there was a story in the news about parents being charged for letting their teenager sample alcohol. Big Brother much?

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the other Ali
JujuParent

Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson

FooserX

I like Claire's parenting style.

I know that at some point, kids might do what they want to do regardless of rules...(sex, drinking, etc)...but that doesn't mean that the parents need to enocurage and allow such behavior.

Kudos to you Claire!

sosoft

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bssage

I think people get tunnel vision. What works for some kids may not work for others (how many people know a family where only one of the kids have issues) . And what works for one family may not work for others.

I think (IMHO) the most important thing is setting a good example. Once that is established then there are probably several different stratagies that will work. The second most important thing. Education give them the facts.

The thing is some people can have one drink, one puff, ect and instantly have issues. If you have set a good example and given them the tools to make informed decisions. You are more likely to have favorable results.

You cant spend the rest of your life beating yourself up if a kid goes south. I had a lot of issues as a teen and I have never blamed my parents. I knew right from wrong and I made bad decisions.

there's been a lot of good information and stratagies here. All I am saying is you have to pick a statagy that works for you. I think the enviroment is probably more important the the stratagy.

Bryan