Parents Forum

Good Wolf · 03-14-2008, 08:56 AM

No, I agree with you about the kids. It was the comment about the divorced members that rubbed me the wrong way. Divorce is ugly and it is a horrible experience for the kids, but you can't blame it on premarital sex, or bad judgement. It's called life..it's hard, it's not fair and it is what it is.

I have the utmost respect for any couple that stay committed from the day I say I do and till death do they part. It just isn't the norm and you can't blame it on any one thing.

Teresa · 03-14-2008, 08:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hwnorth

WHOA... hold on... shes 16, attending high school full time, is part of a dance school and performs often at events, plus is looking for work and trying to get her drivers license. Shes a very good kid with a pretty good attitude

Sorry...it was Steve talking about HIS stepdaughter....I knew I read it somewhere in the thread, so went back and looked.

cbachinger · 03-15-2008, 12:22 AM

What if your son in his mid 20s came home from boarding school with a 24 year old girlfriend over the holidays and of course telling you before hand. Her parents were comfortable with her staying over and they know that their daughter has been sexually active before but your parents are against you sharing a room.

Is it only right to respect their wishes or heavily debate over an issue that in many other countries at that age, sharing a room is completely understandable?

I personally believe, that if the parents of the girl is comfortable (traditionally girls are more protected) the young couple is of age; 18+ and is comfortable with the situation, there should be no problem. It is their responsibility as young adults to take responsibility for their actions. My dad told me that once i turned 16.

evilbrent · 03-15-2008, 01:38 AM

Here's a thought - the original poster: two kids having sex at the age of 15 or 16 in their bedroom??

Sure. Do what you like, just keep the door open or expect me to burst in at least 3 times an hour at random times with milk and cookies. "I'm sorry did you say you wanted cereal or toast for breakfast?"

I'd be encouraging my kid to really really think twice if he wanted to have sex in his bedroom - sex is for grownups, after all, and I don't think he could afford the rent on his room, his share of the grocery bills, or to pay his own damn school fees if he's suddenly an adult.

----

Honestly, with early teen sex I can't help but feel that it's the girls that lose out the most. It seems that boys are the ones cornering/convincing their GFs to put out, and regularly.

I remember watching a documentary on a young (16) couple having sex constantly in their bedroom - how they had this great, trusting relationship going on and they loved each other and were going to be together forever. Only thing was - they actually DIDN'T have sex, because they didn't actually want to stop being virgins... so she just gave him blowjobs all the time.

....

What boy is going pass that up? What girl is going survive with a healthy self esteem after that?

Teresa · 03-15-2008, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cbachinger

What if your son in his mid 20s came home from boarding school with a 24 year old girlfriend over the holidays and of course telling you before hand. Her parents were comfortable with her staying over and they know that their daughter has been sexually active before but your parents are against you sharing a room.

Is it only right to respect their wishes or heavily debate over an issue that in many other countries at that age, sharing a room is completely understandable?

I personally believe, that if the parents of the girl is comfortable (traditionally girls are more protected) the young couple is of age; 18+ and is comfortable with the situation, there should be no problem. It is their responsibility as young adults to take responsibility for their actions. My dad told me that once i turned 16.

My house, my rules. My stepchildren are in their thirties, and my son is 22. If any of them were to bring a girlfriend/boyfriend to visit us, they would be sleeping in separate rooms. If they wanted other arrangements, there are plenty of hotels in the area.

Kaytee · 03-15-2008, 08:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cbachinger

What if your son in his mid 20s came home from boarding school with a 24 year old girlfriend over the holidays and of course telling you before hand. Her parents were comfortable with her staying over and they know that their daughter has been sexually active before but your parents are against you sharing a room.

Is it only right to respect their wishes or heavily debate over an issue that in many other countries at that age, sharing a room is completely understandable?

I personally believe, that if the parents of the girl is comfortable (traditionally girls are more protected) the young couple is of age; 18+ and is comfortable with the situation, there should be no problem. It is their responsibility as young adults to take responsibility for their actions. My dad told me that once i turned 16.

I somewhat agree with this as well. If my 26 year old daughter was spending the night at my house with her boyfriend, I most likly would let them share a room without question.
heck I slept with my husband in his parents house the year before we got married.

cbachinger · 03-18-2008, 11:36 PM

Thank you for your feedback/support

K-12 Educator · 03-19-2008, 12:22 PM

I AGREE. GOOD GRIEF!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trina

NO sleepovers, ever. Share the same bed?!

WTH is she thinking?!

hwnorth · 03-19-2008, 03:04 PM

As this thread continues to live on ... I want to thank you all for your feedback and opinions... all comments are read and all have thought put forth when reading them..

Thank you .... but dont stop

Good Wolf · 03-19-2008, 03:36 PM

In regards to the 20 somethings I would let them share a bed but I would pull my kid aside and ask him to refrain from having sex while they were visiting.

If they decided to go ahead and do it anyways and I found out I would then give them the option to stay in seperate rooms or offer to go half on a hotel room.

I'm far from old fashioned but I have no desire to hear my kid getting their groove thang on.

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