PennQuaker09

Under no circumstances should the boyfriend/girlfriend be in the same room overnight. Whoa! I just couldn't even imagine that.

I had the same boyfriend for the majority of high school and my father welcomed him into the house whenever, but he was not to stay in the same room with me overnight. Once, he fell asleep on the couch (in my room) and my dad still made him go to one of the guest rooms. If he came with us to the beach, he still had to sleep in the guest room. The ONLY time I ever shared a room with him was on a trip with his family. His parents are liberals and mine . . . are anything but liberal.

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Patrick702

Oh god, this is ridiculous.

Their 16 for godsakes, realize that if their not having sex at you're place they are at the boyfriends.

Maybe quit treating them like 9 year olds, and maybe supply something useful (AKA Birthcontrol, condoms?) Accept it that teens will be teens and you can't stop them, just help them.

meow_173

I agree. If kids are going to have sex, they are going to do it. I think as parents we need to be assertive, and provide our kids with the knowledge sothat they can make safe choices if they decide to have sex. We also need to provide them with the tools to be safe (ie birth control, or talk to them about condoms).

Its really hard to control what your kids do, because you can't be thre 110% of the time. But at least if you arm them with the tools and information, hopefully they will make informed choices

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Teresa

Not all teens are the same. Some have different ideas about what their priorities are in life. These days, a LOT more teens are deciding to wait until marriage, or at least until they are out of their teen years, before they have sex.

And, for the record, people will be more receptive to your posts if YOU don't treat other posters like they are nine year olds. Just a thought!!!

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Wife to Barry
Mother to Brian,Adrienne and Amy
Christianity is not a religion like most people think. Christianity is a life of imitating Jesus.

TLCTugger

>> One of my roommates had sex for the first time at 15 when he was seduced by a women who was in her 50s. He spoke very fondly of the woman. <<

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trina Wow. I'm speechless.

When the last prophet of Islam was 52 he married Aisha, then 6 years old. He didn't bed her until she was 9.

I don't know why I bring that up.

I can just recall how much I would have appreciated a secure place to bone when I was 16. I don't for a second think it would have made me a worse person. When a girl I was dating was 18, we used to go into her room and close the door with the family home. One time in the middle of the night the mom opened the door to see if my girlfriend made it home ok, and what she saw was my bare butt and her daughter's toes in the air. They hadn't discussed this possibility before this. I left at 4am and they all had nice laugh/talk about it over breakfast. I was welcomed back.

After college for a bit I rented a room at my mom's and overnight guests were welcome.

I think one of the worst mistakes someone can make is getting married younger than 25, so I would NEVER tell a kid she had to be married before it was ok to have sex.

My daughters are 12 and 15, and the way they are - very highly focused on their studies - makes me wonder if this will come up very soon. I guess I'd better start thinking about my position. I'm not an automatic "no way." The most important thing is not where it happens but rather that they assume every partner HAS a deadly STD and is superhumanly fertile. That means condoms for oral. Is that discussion another thread?

-Ron

just a dad

I don't think the family home is a place where teens should be having sex. I recently found out that my daughter had sex in her bedroom with her long time boyfriend while I was downstairs. Yeah, I should have know because I did the same thing when I was her age but I never would have thought she would do that. *slaps forehead*

I can tell ya one thing. There will never be another boy allowed up those stairs.


I was talking to a friend of mine about this and he said that he knew his daughters were having sex with their boyfriends in the home. His argument was "would you rather them be out somewhere in the back of a car or worse?"

hwnorth

I think your comments are a little presumptuous..

Sex and birth control are not taboo topics in this family and are openly talked about. Pregnancy, STD's etc, are all open for discussion and the teenagers actually have and do discuss sex with the adults openly.

So there is no treating them like 9 years olds, nor is there any avoidance of reality ... quite contrary actually.

Will they have sex at their boyfriends? .. maybe.. in a car and risk getting caught ... maybe ... but does this mean I should facilitate then in having sex in the family home.. especially when there are other children that live here as well.

Skyburning

Oh lord..I guess I'll cross this bridge when I get there. I know I'm going to be a pretty lenient parent (assuming Nolan is a decent kid) but I also feel like the girl's (in my case) parents should have a say so too. I will still hold to their rules in my house. So if they say "not in a room together with the door closed" that's how it will be. I do agree to an extent with the better safe at home argument..and I do agree with giving your kids condoms-because lets face it- most teenagers are GOING to have sex. I just hope to have a strong enough relationship with Nolan to where he will talk to me about it first so I can help him make safe decisions. Sex will not be taboo in our house.

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Claire64

I completely agree. I would rather my 17 year old have sex in his car or at the girlfriend's house than at home around my extremely nosy 6 year old.

Teresa

This reminds me of a situation from my own life. At one point, ex's 18 yr old daughter was living with us, and she wanted her boyfriend to MOVE IN. Her father was actually considering it, which totally blew my mind, as I had three minor children in the house. I asked him at what age he would let THEM do the same thing, and he said never.....and he couldn't give me a good reason why it should be different for his dd. Needless to say, she didn't get to move the bf into our house.....so she went back to living with her mom, and was pregnant two months later.

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Wife to Barry
Mother to Brian,Adrienne and Amy
Christianity is not a religion like most people think. Christianity is a life of imitating Jesus.