jtee

My wife and I have not discussed allowing our daughter having sex in our home, but we have discussed that it there is a possibility she will decide to become sexually active sometime before she moves out of our home. The issue of safe sex had been discussed with her at length because she has experiment with sex already. Our daughter only gets our permission to do things we perceive she can handle. As an adult she wouldn't need our permission, but while she is a minor child we shall provide oversight over her life. If we felt she reached full womanhood (physically, emotional, mentally) before becoming a legal adult, there wouldn't be a need for us to be concerned about her becoming sexually activity if she were to make that choice. It really is a moot point, because there is no indication that our daughter will be that mature before 25.

TammyZed

Both parents agree that both teens are mature for their age?

My son leveled with me when he became sexually active (well, that's giving him too much credit... he leveled with me when I'd overheard too much for him to deny it), so I know he's doing it. I even consider Morgan to be mature for his age. That doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy for him, and it certainly doesn't mean I'm going to provide him opportunities!

hwnorth

Tammy ... yes both parents are aware... I dont know if his parents think hes mature enough... I get the feeling that its just "accepted" (closing eyes tight so I cant see it) ...Im sure you get my point

and I agree ... I will talk and educate you all about it .. I will help you all I can ..but I will NOT facilitate you an area to have sex

evilbrent

hmmm.

an 18 or 19 yr old going to uni or working and still living at home - I think that's fine. Old enough to pay rent - old enough to have privacy.

Other than that, I agree with hnworth - I'll educate you and help with condoms etc, but I'm not going to cover for you or leave you alone in your bedroom for hours on end when you're 15.

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Aunt

This is a tough one. I would be pretty strict at 15 but by sixteen or 17 it is getting hard to police or stop. Bear this in mind & think about some of the alternative venues they may choose. i would give both the kids a very thorough sex education. In the case of girls I would also get them a good gynecologist and have her go for her first smear and internal. if she wont go I would remind her tht if she is not adult enough for the health care realities, she is not adult enough for sex .
This not prohibition is more likely to prevent pregnancy or stds. i would talk to the boys parents & see what they think. Frank and open communication is best.

musicmom

Aunt

12 is way too young!!!! I would be concerned that at 12 a sexually active kid is acting out and is in some sort of distress

Amber

Put your foot down with your girlfriend. You pay bills there, dont you? That means you've got a say.

Just out of curiousity...besides the fact that these kids really have no business at all having sex this young in the first place, what is the legal age of consent? I'm not sure about the laws here, I've not been here long enough, but in IN, the child has to be 16, or it's considered statuatory rape. Does the mother not worry that her child could possibly be picked up for this, regardless of whether she's only 16 or not?

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aliinnc

a. The pill isn't 100%
b. You cannot be sure the girl is taking the pill consistently.
c. STDs!!!!!
d. They lack the maturity level to be good parents (assumption here, but probably valid)
e. They lack the financial means to be parents (ditto caveat)
f. If one is 15, doesn't that make it statutory rape?
g. Parent could probably be reported to Social Services.
h. They probably aren't getting enough sleep to do well in school. hehe
i. where are the boy's parents? If they don't know, they might sue the girl's mother.
j. need I go on?

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the other Ali
JujuParent

Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson

aliinnc

Sorry, just realized that other parents' opinions had been discussed.

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the other Ali
JujuParent

Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson