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Old 03-13-2008, 11:03 AM   #61
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?


our society as a whole is accepting of sex at younger and younger ages "oh well their friends are all doing it" ..."How can I stop it" ... "may as well give them a safe place, theyre going to anyway" ... and maybe Im just old era ... but how about ...Not a CHANCE...

I dont get it.. how people become so complacent when it comes to their children

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Old 03-13-2008, 12:12 PM   #62
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

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Originally Posted by Trina View Post
I agree that it's none of your business, and not your place to say anything unless she ASKS for your opinion.

That said, in our house there will never be boy-girl sleepovers unless the boy and girl are married. Of course, I'm not expecting my kids to wait until marriage before sex, but that's the ideal we are raising them with. Until then we will not encourage early grandchildren under our roof.
I agree. I know they are probably having sex but they won't be doing it with my blessing and certaintly no under my roof. It might be considered hypocritical but I doubt there is a parent out there hasn't had to be at one time or another.
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Old 03-13-2008, 12:17 PM   #63
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

My parents made the mistake of allowing my Boyfriend to start sleeping over when i was only 15. It changed our relationship drastically. Sharing a bed with somoene and waking up in their arms at that young ages confuses you. Suddenly WE thought we were madly in love. Suddenly fantasies of being married were taking over... everything became much more serious between him and i.

I was pregnant and he moved in a year later.

I dont regret my life choices and i do LOVE my son, but i wouldnt want my son to be forced to make the choices that i had to at such a young age.

Sleepovers will be forbidden in my home.
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Old 03-13-2008, 12:28 PM   #64
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

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Originally Posted by hwnorth View Post
our society as a whole is accepting of sex at younger and younger ages "oh well their friends are all doing it" ..."How can I stop it" ... "may as well give them a safe place, they're going to anyway" ... and maybe Im just old era ... but how about ...Not a CHANCE...
I don't think this is entirely true. I think society in the US is more tolerant about talking about sex and having sex in media, but not so much in their acceptance that it is OK for children to have sex. There will be always people on the fringes, or those who have little influence\control over their children lives, but we can't take the exceptions and point to them as if they are typical examples.
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Old 03-13-2008, 01:50 PM   #65
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

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Amber,

Better get that chastity belt soon. Is Cameron a boy or a girl? When my son was nine, there was already a lot of sexual talk on the playground.
Now, he's 12, and there are reports of a girl in his grade who performs oral sex in the bathroom for money...

But the good thing is that he talks to me abt all this stuff.

Cameron is a boy, but so far, girls still have cooties. He's such a mama's boy, though. He's very much boy, but very bashful. He's never mentioned anything regarding sex, and I think he might (I hope he would) because he's very inquisitive and nosey and has to know everything about everything.

Now, Candace, on the other hand, is a HUGE tomboy. But here in the last month, she's been saying she has a crush on this boy or that boy, and Cora has ratted her out for kissing a boy.

Sadly, their mother does not parent well at all. She never takes care of them and lets them do as they please. I just hope that they learn and take to heart anything that their father or I try to teach them.
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Old 03-13-2008, 01:54 PM   #66
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

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I know, I know, you can't really call that a "committed relationship", but they're not just randomly hooking up. Give them some credit. I wouldn't consider sixteen "mature", but they aren't children either.

Give them some credit? lol...uh....for what?

You think a 15 year old has the emotional know-how to deal with possible pregnancy, abortion, STD's, infidelity, or even a simple break up?

All of those things are a very real possibility...and to risk their future on simple lust feelings is rediculous. I get that kids want to experiment, but that is why we have the job of being parents...to step in and put things in order.

The parents have basically told the kids that casual sex is okay...and pretending to be married is okay.

It's not...and certainly not at this age when they need to be focused on school. Hell...they aren't even thinking college yet!
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Old 03-13-2008, 02:25 PM   #67
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

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Originally Posted by FooserX View Post
Give them some credit? lol...uh....for what?

You think a 15 year old has the emotional know-how to deal with possible pregnancy, abortion, STD's, infidelity, or even a simple break up?

All of those things are a very real possibility...and to risk their future on simple lust feelings is rediculous. I get that kids want to experiment, but that is why we have the job of being parents...to step in and put things in order.

The parents have basically told the kids that casual sex is okay...and pretending to be married is okay.

It's not...and certainly not at this age when they need to be focused on school. Hell...they aren't even thinking college yet!
Credit for being in a relationship, since you went on about how they weren't. My point was that at least they aren't just randomly hooking up.

There are definitely a whole slew of issues with a girlfriend and boyfriend sharing a bed. I don't disagree there. I agree with most of what you've said. Personally, I won't allow my children to share a bed with romantic interests, only close female friends that I know very well.
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Old 03-13-2008, 03:46 PM   #68
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

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Credit for being in a relationship, since you went on about how they weren't. My point was that at least they aren't just randomly hooking up.

I didn't say they weren't in a relationship - I said they weren't in a committed one.

If they aren't married, they aren't committed. Simple. Just because they're hot for each other doesn't make them committed.
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Old 03-13-2008, 04:25 PM   #69
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

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Originally Posted by FooserX View Post
If they aren't married, they aren't committed. Simple. Just because they're hot for each other doesn't make them committed.
Wow. I have a bit of a beef with the way you worded that statement! lol

Marriage does not automatically equal commitment. I call my husband that for ease of use, but I'm not married to him. I've spent almost fifteen years with him. Commitment? Sure. Married? Not at all.

Now, I know. No teens have spent fifteen years with their boy/girlfriend. But from experience with my own children, they can get too committed at that age, even dangerously so. It's not really better, but to say that teenagers cannot be committed is a generalization.

Teenagers are not children. They certainly aren't adults, but treating them as children will only make them feel patronized and make things worse. At sixteen, they will resent that treatment a lot.
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Old 03-13-2008, 09:58 PM   #70
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Default Re: What age kids have sex at home ?

I think teens can be committed.. but I dont think they fully understand love and the possible consequences of having sex
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