Kellell

Ever since this deaf man in early 20’s moved into condo opposite from us. My 15 years old daughter has been obsessed with him. At first I thought it was nothing big deal. But I have been catching her gawk at him from her window more than once. I’ve seen her go up to him and use note and pen to talk with him a couple time. She always gets excited when he return wave to her. If he brought any girls home which he does quite often, she’d get very irritated about it.

Today I was getting ready to head to grocery store; I went to the pool area to let her and her friend know. I cannot believe what I saw. As he was getting out of the pool, she and her friend approached him to show him a piece of paper. He just starts to chuckled and looks at them and nods as he shrugs. They both started to rubs his tummy, but as they try to move their hands to his chest, he just step back and gently pushed their hands away and laugh then put his shirt on and walked out of the pool area. I was so unhappy about this, but I didn’t say a thing until I got back from the grocery store. When I asked her about this, she says she asked him if she can feel his tummy since she have never felt a 6 pack abs before. Since I was uneasy, I just told her to not do it again.

My daughter also talk nonstop about how he look like David Beckham, nice and polite he is, how he actually cook, keep his place clean, didn’t act like a pervert, take very good care of his dog and cat, and other thing. She also seems to be crazy about how he’s slightly shy.

I don’t know what to do about this. I’m not sure if this man is someone I should be worry about or not. Why would my daughter try to touch him? I also find it odd that she’s crazy over a deaf man. I don’t know what to do about this situation.

fallon

first of all it's totally normal for your daughter to have a crush on an older man. What you need to do is explain to her the right way to handle herself and how men think about women who would ask to touch them like that. Ignore the crush as it's most likely going to go no where. He probably thinks it's sweet that the girl has a crush on him but most likely won't take it any farther.

__________________
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Dadu2004

I agree with Fallon, but also be careful. He's a younger guy, who because he's deaf, may not be receiving alot of attention from the ladies. Also, you never know who's who these days. So, yes, it will probably go nowhere, and chances are he just thinks it's cute, but don't be totally oblivious to the harsh possiblities that this world offers.

__________________

fallon

she said he brings home women quite often so I'm just going off of that. You should definatly keep your eye on things but don't let her know you are...lol

__________________
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Trina

Well, if he looks like Beckham and has a six pack he most likely doesn't have trouble getting girls, deaf or otherwise. That's beside the point. LOL! I agree it's totally normal for your DD to be boy crazy, but she needs to learn appropriate social behavior. Other than being civil and friendly with neighbors, she shouldn't be hanging out with men. Besides the fact that she's jail bait, she could get herself into a lot of trouble. Judging by how this guy handled the situation (by gently pushing their hands away, putting on a shirt and leaving) I think he's fully aware of the dangers and acted accordingly. Of course, you still need to be wary and keep a close eye on things.

Cthru

Oh I'd be furious with my girls..totally furious!

First of all, her approaching him at all with a note is totally unacceptable. She is a young girl and it is not her place to make contact with him. She can think he's 'hot' all she wants (to herself).. but when she makes the move to talk to him she crossed the line of inappropriate - Let alone touching him and making a spectacle of herself at the pool!

I would let her know right now that nothing will ever ever ever happen with this man. Let her know he would be in jail in the blink of an eye. Also let her know how inappropriate it is for her to be communicating with him - and if it happens again there will be major consequences (major grounding or whatever).


It's bad enough that we have to deal with this "boy crazy" stage (i have twin 15year old girls) - but if they start approaching adult strangers they are crossing a major line and need to be reeled back in. Watch her like a hawk.. correct her if she even says anything about him. Say it's not cool, it's not cute, it's not how proper girls act, it's inappropriate and you don't want to hear another thing about it from her.

Good luck!

Claire64

I agree with Fallon that it's just a crush and isn't going anywhere. What I think you should do is talk to your daughter and let her know that he probably thinks she's being a silly teenage girl and that when girls act like that they look desperate.

I don't really see a problem with her talking to him, or hanging out at the pool with him, but I would keep an eye on them, just to be sure.

fallon

I personally feel that making to big of an issue about this will only push her away. just explain to her the right way for a lady to handle herself and also that a man his age could get into a lot of trouble if he were to be interested ina girl her age. I really think if you make a huge deal out this it will backfire on you. I would however let her no VERY clearly that asking a man of any age if you can touch his chest suggests horrible things about a women and let her know what most men think about girls who are that foward

__________________
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

Cthru

I can't agree with the 'gentle' talking to about it. Maybe it's because I have two the same age and I know that would come across as 'not a big deal' and this behavior would continue. It is a big deal and it's not acceptable.

fallon

oh I wouldn't be gentle about the whole touching and passing notes thing...that's were I would have to come down hard. But I was 15 not all that long ago and I do know that making a huge a deal about crush is only going to make her want it more. She's having totally normal feelings and they should treated as such. If this is the first time you guys have gone through this it's probably time you had nice mother daughter talk about what you feel is and isn't acceptable. if the behavior continues, lock her in her room until she's 18

__________________
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult