Amber

Forgot....

Steve, it's apparent the 18yr old has no motivation, according to your words. I, myself, would not provide her with a cell phone. If she can't hold a job, she can't hold a phone.

And if the 14yr old is truly that bad, then heck no. Why reward him for bad behaviour?

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musicmom

I'll probably get my children a cell phone but it will be restricted. They will have to get the pay per minute first so they can learn how fast the minutes go by and they'll have to do chores of course to earn money for their minutes.
911 calls are free on any phone even without service so they can always use that feature for safety.
A cell phone is just one of the things I also think is a privledge and not a good gift. If you did get it as a gift then you should have given an exact time frame.
I would never reward mine with gifts if they are doing poorly in school or do not have a job, there's just no way.

Aunt

I am dealing with this with a 12 yr old. We have now agreed her pocket money pays for anything that goes over her cap. It is win win. She has also quick smart learnt the value of sticking within the limits.

dfelix

I bought my son and myself a cell phone. My first bill was $700.00, I don't remember what caused that. I did turn off whatever caused this bill. On the second month, my bill was $400.00, all text messages, I got online and turned off all features.

Now it's only $65.00 a month and it will remain so until my son buys his own cell phone.

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Amber

dfelix...I would have promptly shut them off after the first bill

__________________
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail

Claire64

My 12 and 16 year olds both have cell phones, but they are in a lot of activities and are out with their friends a lot (and my oldest can drive) so I feel more comfortable when they have phones. We pay for both because neither of them have a job or any other way to pay for it.

In your situation, I would definitely not be paying for the 18 year old's phone. She is an adult (or close to it) and should be paying for her own. For the 14 year old, I think it would depend on his behavior. Maybe you could set it up as a reward? If he does well in school and is well-behaved until the end of the school year, you could get him a phone in the summer? I would not make him pay for it because he is too young to get a real job, but if he goes over his minutes, he could pay you back with pocket money or chores.

Steve

Thanks Claire.

I'm just letting the 18 yr old's expire in July. It's cheaper to pay for it between now and then than it is to cancel the contract and pay the early-termination penalty.

I think with the 14 yr old, I'll take the approach that his dad gave him the $$ to buy the phone, fine. Mom said we could do this if his grades improve. He's showing good effort though my opinion is a few weeks doesn't make enough difference.

Next comes putting in on my bill. I figure with the 18yr old's being about done and his starting up, I have little $$ to gain or lose here.

I'll tell him I'll be glad to, but I need some stuff from him in return. I have quite a menu of things to suggest to him, but in the end, the decision of what to offer is his, and the decision to accept is mine. He does nothing around here as it is, so I'll suggest such things as:

- No profanity for nn weeks. Each week that I hear it is a week that the phone remains suspended and a bill I won't have to pay.

- Put the garbage bags in the back of my truck on trash day each week. Without being asked, reminded, hounded, etc.

- In the summer, mow the lawn (it's small) each weekend without being reminded, asked, etc.

- In the winter, help shovel the snow. No begging etc. from us - just do it.

- In the winter, take charge of emptying the wood stove ash drawer each afternoon. Without being asked etc.

- Feed the cats when they need it. After all, you're the one who brought them home against our wishes.

In return, he can expect I'll pay his bill without being reminded, asked, hounded, etc. If he fails to hold up his end of the bargain, I no longer am responsible for my end.

I figure stuff like this will get him moving or not, and if not, it's only his problem, not mine.

Amber

But it's a good effort. Praise him for this. Don't let him know you're expecting him to fall flat on his face.

__________________
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail

jtee

Claire, what kind of cell phone rules do you have for your children? We have a 12 year who we anticipate will want one some time in the near future.

Claire64

jtee - Our 12 year old has unlimited texting and almost unlimited minutes (it's a family plan, so if he goes over his minutes, it dips into mine and my husband's). We disabled all internet on his phone, so he can't download to his phone. If he wants to download a ringer or game, he has to ask us to call and let it download, but he's only done that once. He uses his phone whenever he wants, except in school because the kids all have to put their phones in their lockers all day.