Steve

OK, another one coming up. The main question: whose cell phones do I pay for?

I (step dad) currently provide cell phones for me, mom, 18 yr old girl and 17 yr old girl. My bill's about $300 a month -- I consider that ridiculous but haven't complained. Gifts from me, I'm fine with that. But now:

Some of you got familiar with the abusive 14 yr old boy. One thing Mom did during this morning's problems was tell him that the promise of a cell phone is he was good was as good as dead. I didn't know of such a promise and would never have gone along with it. And I know that Mom will continue to hold that out there again and again because she needs to dangle something in front of him to help coax good behavior. He's had and lost a phone twice before because of his crap. Been about a year now since the last attempt.

Some of you also read about the 18 yr old girl. HS dropout, can't pass the GED and appears to have quit, is pregnant, no job, no driver skills or license or even desire to learn.

Seems to me that when the contract on her phone runs out in July I'm perfectly within bounds to say that she's an adult and if she wants a phone then, well, I've provided one for two years and now she can get her own. Problem is that she'll have a baby in August and if I take that position I'm going to be viewed all around as a mean person.

I don't want to provide a phone to the 14 yr old and think that continuing to provide one to an the 18 yr old is no longer my responsibility. I'm giving her plenty else of course by paying for so much, including her $3,000 hospital bill for STDs last year.

Would ya'll agree with me or do I just bite the bullet and pay for still more when I don't want to?

hannah's mommy

My general guidelines are no cell phones until they're driving, or are involved with a lot of school activities. And I do not plan on paying for anything after mine turn 18 unless they are in school.

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HappyMomma

I would say they are old enough to pay their own cell phone bill. That is a priviledge... not a neccessity.

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TammyZed

Both of my kids have cell phones. My son pays for his own now, so as far as I'm concerned, he can do what he wants with that.

We got my daughter on a plan, and the biggest problem with her is going over her monthly text limit. I don't get it. What's the point of buying a phone if you're not going to talk on it? She's been talked to about that, and next time it happens (hopefully it won't), her phone will get taken away.

Steve

The 17 yr old girl got unlimited text - that's what she asked for for her birthday. 7,000 to 8,000 msgs per month! And I understand that's not all that unusual.

Her grades and behavior became a real problem. We stopped voice and text for a week, then turned voice back on until her grades improved. Grear carrot -- she turned around quick!

With my carrier (U.S. Cellular) it's not a huge deal to call them and suspend a service. In this case, I can suspend for 60 days with no contract changes. I even save money during those days.

We've done the "take the phone away" deal. Actually suspending the service seems to have a better effect. Problem is with others having phones in the house, the one without tends to "borrow" someone else's phone. I'll leave that borrowing up to them.

meow_173

honestly, a 14 year old doesn't need a cell phone. I got my first cell when i was i think 1st year university. I never saw the need for a cell when i was in HS. THe 18 year old can pay for her own cell. I have been paying for my own cell bill since the beginning and i had a baby lol. (have you guys thought of a family plan? t osave money? or a My 5?)

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Kaytee

I also think most children do not need a cell phone. If they are paying for it themselves, so be it.
now if you have a child who is constantly not home. School, after school, part time job... then maybe

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Teresa

In our family, DH and I don't have cell phones, and we don't get cell phones for the children until they have a means of paying the monthly bill or replenishing the minutes. At that point, we buy the phone, activate it, and pay the first month...then it's all up to them.

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Amber

If my child can get a job to pay for the cell phone, by all means, get you one. I'd rather they have one while they're working, anyway. But I'm not paying for a cell phone because in my eyes, it's not a necessity. It's not clothes, it's not food, it's a cell phone. I honestly don't think a child needs it until around 16 or so...and by then they are old enough to be able to learn the resposibility of bills. So, we both win...you get a cell, I get to teach you responsibility.

When my child gets involved in extracurricular activities and is gone from the house a lot, I'll give them mine with the rule that the moment they call someone other than me to pick them up, the activity will be stopped. I'll give them mine to call for a ride, not text and run my bill up.

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