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10-29-2007, 03:33 PM
| #11 | ||
| PF Addict  Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Denver
Posts: 2,569
Rep Power: 387 Reputation: 8212   Children: One boy, Bradley |
>>>Well teenagers tend to talk that way to their parents. My parents never would have allowed me to talk to them disrespectfully, and I never will allow my son to do it either. Last edited by jtee : 10-29-2007 at 03:39 PM. Reason: taunting | ||
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Re: Letting go of your 18 year old |
10-29-2007, 10:44 PM
| #12 | ||
| PF Fiend Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tenafly, NY
Posts: 565
Rep Power: 461 Reputation: 11087 Children: Savannah and Hunter |
I think at the end of the day, she's still your child and I don't care, my children are always going to have a place in my home. I'm not going to "invite" my child over for dinner, that's absurd. | ||
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10-30-2007, 06:05 AM
| #13 | ||
| Super Moderator  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Texas
Posts: 7,168
Rep Power: 939 Reputation: 19656 Children: Nichole |
I agree with you penn, but I also agree with tough love when it is needed for an adult child.
__________________  If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to stand in front of them! http://www.spcnicholasidalski.com | ||
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10-30-2007, 06:26 AM
| #14 | ||
| PF Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Denver
Posts: 2,569
Rep Power: 387 Reputation: 8212 Children: One boy, Bradley |
>>>I'm not going to "invite" my child over for dinner, that's absurd. Well when your kid is a lazy bum, and isn't growing as an adult...it's time to draw some lines. That includes not letting them mooch food. Some might find that more "loving" than letting them come over and get their needs taken care of by momma. | ||
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10-30-2007, 06:34 AM
| #15 | ||
| PF Fiend  Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ohio
Posts: 727
Rep Power: 732 Reputation: 17678 Children: Brian, 22; Adrienne, 18: Amy, 15 |
I'm sorry, but when I make dinner, I need to know in advance who's going to be there, so I know how much food to make. If I plan for the four of us who live here, and then my son were to show up at dinner time, expecting to eat, I'd have NO problem telling him that he could make a sandwich or a can of soup, but that there wasn't enough of the meal to go around. That's just the way it works here....if I don't know you're coming for dinner, I don't have food for you, family or not.
__________________  Wife to Barry Mother to Brian,Adrienne and Amy Christianity is not a religion like most people think. Christianity is a life of imitating Jesus. | ||
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11-06-2007, 03:25 AM
| #16 | ||
| PF Fiend Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tenafly, NY
Posts: 565
Rep Power: 461 Reputation: 11087 Children: Savannah and Hunter |
Tough love is okay, but if we're talking about making sure my child gets a meal. I could be eternally pissed, but I'm still not going to make my child call to come eat. I reiterate, it's absurd. And it's wrong. I get that from the African American side of my family, there was always enough food if someone cooked. Last edited by PennQuaker09 : 11-06-2007 at 03:29 AM. | ||
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11-06-2007, 03:28 AM
| #17 | ||
| PF Fiend Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Ohio
Posts: 727
Rep Power: 732 Reputation: 17678 Children: Brian, 22; Adrienne, 18: Amy, 15 |
It may be absurd and wrong for YOU, but it's logical and it works for ME....and, like I said, it doesn't just apply to my child, it applies to anyone who might be expecting to be fed at my house. If I don't know in advance that you're coming, I can't plan my menu accordingly.
__________________ Wife to Barry Mother to Brian,Adrienne and Amy Christianity is not a religion like most people think. Christianity is a life of imitating Jesus. | ||
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11-06-2007, 03:34 AM
| #18 | ||
| PF Fiend Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Tenafly, NY
Posts: 565
Rep Power: 461 Reputation: 11087 Children: Savannah and Hunter |
I understand that, but that's just not something you'd find in an African American family, especially a southern one. My mom cooks with the expectation of guests. And nothing goes to waste because it's better the next day. | ||
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11-06-2007, 07:54 AM
| #19 | ||
| PF Addict  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,224
Rep Power: 53 Reputation: 599 Children: Isabella (9), Josephine (8), Hannah (5), and Natalia (7 months) |
I was raised by Southern raised parents. I always cook for an army
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11-25-2007, 02:48 PM
| #20 | ||
| Junior Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Walnut, CA
Posts: 10
Rep Power: 0 Reputation: 10 Children: boy 19, girl 18, girl 12 |
Actually, living with a family is a great option! I imagine you would worry less about her than if she lived with a friend, or worst, live with a guy. She may learn respect by learning to live with another family's rules. You gave her the option as an adult, she made her choice as an adult. And you can just continue to treat her as an adult daughter. Once in a while ask her out to lunch, or invite her to dinner. Let her know you still love her as her mother, that will never change. The living arrangement is different, that's all.
__________________ Katy continuing my Adventures in Parenting | ||
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